Ask Dan & Jennifer

Have you had a sit down communication with her. By you expressing what you are feeling and having her express herself you may find out there is more going on than you know. Do you both masturbate? If yes, keep doing it. Even do it together. Watching, feeling, touching, will be ge both of your eye opening adventure. Remember to communicate and ask question of each other.

I tried to have a conversation, but she just said I do please her. I should have mentioned that she's very very shy. She wont have conversations like that because it makes her uncomfortable, wont fully expose herself. Knowing this, I try and make sure she's as comfortable as possible, turning the lights out, always being under blankets and such. But due to shyness, which stems from insecurities towards her own figure, she cant get herself off, she's tried a couple times but has said that she finds herself just too unappealing. Which is why i'm not actually sure. I trust her to tell the truth, so I believe that it feels good for her, I just don't know, and she doesn't either, if she's actually having an orgasm. I was really just wondering how I could tell them apart, true orgasm, fake or just the pleasure leading up to the orgasm.

Also, I did some research, and it seems like she has been having a clitoral orgasm, I'm just not sure, and I don't know about the validity of the source.

So yeah what would really be helpful is just thing I could use to identify one orgasm from another, and those from regular pleasure

Originally posted by: FuyuNoArashi
"catch her breath" or because it "feels too good and she can't take it."

What I think you should do is push her to the edge. I think she will orgasm really good then, I could be completely wrong. But if you where to do this, I suggest you talk it over with her before you do it. If shes down with it go right a head.

"When we do stuff, I can get her moaning and thrashing, and some of things i've learned would point to it being an orgasm, but some things that are supposedly supposed to be there, aren't, such as the relaxation afterwards."

This happens to me too. I don't know the technical terms for it. For me, I like to have several of those 'high points' (on the brink of an orgasm, maybe it is an orgasm but without the relaxation) because they lead to a really powerful orgasm. It takes a long time before I reach that final one though, so you might have to continue to pleasure her for an hour or so if you want her to orgasm.


"Also, if i stimulate her G-spot she gets to a point where it seems like an orgasm, but she pushes me away either so she can 'catch her breath' or because it 'feels too good and she can't take it.'

This probably means:

a) I need a way to release the sexual tension in order to have an orgasm (usually with clitoral stimulation - you can stimulate her g-spot and her clit at the same time)

b) It's too much stimulation (sometimes my boyfriend stimulates my g-spot too hard or is trying to get me to have an orgasm too quickly and I need more warm up to orgasm)

I hope this helps you! Practical advice on this: continue open communication, don't worry about it & just continue to explore and enjoy each other's bodies, masturbation helps her understand her body better.

Thanks for the advice; I'll talk to her about it, and try it out. If there's anything else you can think of, please let me know. And once again, thank you.

Key indicators from the G spot orgasm:
her vagina contracts around your penis
her vagina pushes your penis out
she squirts everywhere
her anus involuntarily contracts (actually it her pubococcygeal muscles or orgasm muscles. These go from your pubic bone to your coccyx or tail bone. Next time YOU cum, notice how your anus involuntarily contracts. It's the same when women cum. So if her anus ISN'T involuntarily contracting, then she is NOT having an orgasm.)

Key indicators of the clitoral orgasm:
the clit becomes over-sensitive and can't take anymore (just like the penis orgasm) so she pushes your hand, tongue or penis away.
anus involuntarily contracts

Watch these female orgasm videos so you know what to do next time:
YouTube - Female orgasm | C spot | Clitoris| Demonstration with rubber vagina
YouTube - Female orgasm | G spot | Female ejaculation | Squirting | Demonstration with rubber vagina
YouTube - Female orgasm | A spot | Demonsration with rubber vagina