Is it alright to have a relationship with a cousin? (She's not a blood cousin.)

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

Hi everybody. I know this is verrry weird, but I have this cousin (or at least I have always thought of her as a cousin) that I like. She likes me too. I first met her in the Philippines in 2003 when her mom was dating my Uncle (my dad is Filipino so he wanted my siblings and I to visit the Philippines). We were much younger then and didn't really have feelings for each other. I recently moved back to the Philippines in October 2008 and saw her again. I started to have a "crush" on her and what not, and I had a feeling that she liked me to. So my Uncle died in November of 2008, and now her mom is dating other guys. Her mom and my Uncle never got married, but they had one child together which is currently 2 years old. So one day we decided to drink some alcohol, and then we started kissing. That eventually lead to us talking about our feelings for each other. I told her that I really liked her, and she told me she really liked me too. So then we started "dating". She would come over to my house sometimes so we could just hang out and talk, and most of the time kiss.

Basically, my question is: What do I do about this kind of relationship? I really like her, but it's just feels a bit weird because I have always thought of her as a cousin. What if my parents find out? What about her mom and the rest of my family? I'm just really confused right now on what to do. Any advice would help.

Thanks,

Chris

Replies(3)

Beagle

Re: Is it alright to have a relationship with a cousin? (She's not a blood cousin.)

2 years ago

Originally posted by: ChrisPH

What if my parents find out? What about her mom and the rest of my family?

Thanks,

Chris

Chris: Welcome to the forums. The reason cousins or other biological relatives are discouraged from dating is that it increases the risk of any child they have suffering birth defects. There are recessive genes that are very rare, but if parents are related both are more likely to pass that gene on to the offspring, who would suffer the negative traits of that gene. (See, I didn't waste that elective in Genetics.) Obviously, this doesn't apply to the two of you since you're not biologically related.

As far as the last questions, I think you are in a much better to judge that than any of us. If they are knowledgeable of genetics, then they probably won't have any problem with it. You know your family's values and beliefs, so you are in the best position to answer that question.

chrisph

Re: Is it alright to have a relationship with a cousin? (She's not a blood cousin.)

2 years ago

Originally posted by: Beagle
Chris: Welcome to the forums. The reason cousins or other biological relatives are discouraged from dating is that it increases the risk of any child they have suffering birth defects. There are recessive genes that are very rare, but if parents are related both are more likely to pass that gene on to the offspring, who would suffer the negative traits of that gene. (See, I didn't waste that elective in Genetics.) Obviously, this doesn't apply to the two of you since you're not biologically related.

As far as the last questions, I think you are in a much better to judge that than any of us. If they are knowledgeable of genetics, then they probably won't have any problem with it. You know your family's values and beliefs, so you are in the best position to answer that question.

Thank you for answering Beagle, and sorry for such a late reply. I agree with all what you're saying, but I wouldn't know how to explain it to my family. Any suggestions on how I could bring it up to them?

Thanks,

Chris

Beagle