Is it okay to talk to my ex's?

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

Well...I made up my mind to stay with a guy that lives 15 hours away from me, and he gets a little huffy at the thought of my ex boyfriends.

I've been getting calls, and texts from my old guys, and I didn't even see it coming. A few days ago, I get an IM from this guy that lives in FL now. We went out for a good while. Then a day or so later, this loser of ex calls me, and trys to make up with me, but then blows up on me. I told the guy I'm going out with now, that he blew up on me, and that he won't stop calling me. He wasn't very happy...and I "

"Maybe I should come down to vist...show him your taken..." I got a little...upset at that. I like how cute he is when he gets mad at other guys around me, when the fact is, he's the one I want. That's why I'm with him. I've come to see, that in fact, he's the one I want to speed my days with. He wants to be with me...so why does he think I'll cheat? Or does he?

...I'm not typing this out very well...ack...

I don't get mad at my guy. We've never had a fight. Other than those cute "I love you more" bullsh*t fights. But when he said that he was going to come down to vist JUST to show this guy up...that kinda hurt. I asked him if he would come down to vist me, so I wouldn't have to wait nearly a year to see him this up coming summer. He said that he couldn't...yet he'll throw words around when he thinks a guy is going to get to me? I never did tell him that upset me...I just don't like starting drama with him.

I don't wanna be that type of girlfriend. I wanna be the type of girlfriend that will be cool with just about anything, and won't worry him to death. But with him, I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm under water with him. That I can't think, breath, move. Nothing.

So how should I know when it's okay to speak up? I don't like my ex's calling me, and it WOULD be nice to see him do something about it, and he's more than happy to do that, but, like, should I worry him about such things? We live far apart from each other, and we both have enough stress in our lives.

Is it wiser of me to just not say a word of these ex's that call me up? I made up with the one from FL, just got off the phone with him. We're friends again. I don't know how my boyfriend would feel about that, so should I just keep quiet? I bet there is no need to bring it up, but I just don't wanna get that thought in my head "what he doesn't know, won't hurt him" I couldn't bare to think him keeping something like an ex callin' him up...so what should I do?

Again...sorry....I'm trying to word this best I can....long...I know...I'm sorry, I just don't know if I should hold my tongue...

Replies(4)

Xero

Re: Is it okay to talk to my ex's?

2 years ago

I think not saying anything for now would be good. If hes having issues about it and you are doing nothing wrong then it is completely fine to keep this hush hush. There are probably some things he doesn't tell you.

Keeping this a secret might be a forum of cheating, but it's better to just let it go and move on with it rather than tell him. If it's not affecting your current relationship then I don't see a problem with it.

newhi_dan..

Re: Is it okay to talk to my ex's?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: Xero
I think not saying anything for now would be good. If hes having issues about it and you are doing nothing wrong then it is completely fine to keep this hush hush. There are probably some things he doesn't tell you.

Keeping this a secret might be a forum of cheating, but it's better to just let it go and move on with it rather than tell him. If it's not affecting your current relationship then I don't see a problem with it.

..."Keeping this a secret might be a forum of cheating"? o_o...I don't like da sound of dat AT ALL!

I'm not doing anything wrong...I'm just talking to them. He just happens to think they can change my feelings for him. They can't. Thanks for the help about keeping it quiet, I really don't wanna stress him out if I don't need to. But for the time being, I would like to know how to tell him...I mean, I don't like keeping things from him, so is there a way you can help me? I don't know how to hand the real jealous guys, so I don't know how to tell them something like this? X.X

Xero

Re: Is it okay to talk to my ex's?

2 years ago

Alright, hopefully this gives you an idea of what to say.

You would probably have to do this in person. Hopefully he has some girls that are just friends as well.

(insert his name here) Please don't get mad at me because I have done noting wrong and just hear me out. I know how you get some times and it really upsets me too because I hate seeing you upset. I have made friends with my ex's and that is all. The only person I want is you. Nothing can change that, and you are the best. (if this part is true) I'm sure you have some girls that are your friends and I don't get angry about that so don't get mad with me. Thank you for listening (give him a hug).

Hopefully this helps, or gives you an idea what to say.

newhi_dan..

Re: Is it okay to talk to my ex's?

2 years ago

Originally posted by: Xero
Alright, hopefully this gives you an idea of what to say.

You would probably have to do this in person. Hopefully he has some girls that are just friends as well.

(insert his name here) Please don't get mad at me because I have done noting wrong and just hear me out. I know how you get some times and it really upsets me too because I hate seeing you upset. I have made friends with my ex's and that is all. The only person I want is you. Nothing can change that, and you are the best. (if this part is true) I'm sure you have some girls that are your friends and I don't get angry about that so don't get mad with me. Thank you for listening (give him a hug).

Hopefully this helps, or gives you an idea what to say.

Yeah, it does help me. Thank you very much