Donde,
Your husband had what is known as an "emotional affair". I think I would be most hurt by this, too. And, YES, you can trust again but a couple of things need to happen in your head. You have to have some understanding of your part in this. What is it that is "different" about you now? Are you so focused on your kids that you don't listen to his feelings or pay attention to what he needs? Are you unconsciously angry with him for something and so are holding back your affection from him in some way? There are lots of possibilities but only you and your husband know what is going on. When you can accept your part in what happened, then you no longer feel like a Victim and can then take action to do things differently to avoid it happening again- this empowers you. You see, fear is the opposite of trust. When you gain a sense of what is your part and you know what you can do differently, then you don't have to be afraid of the thing that seems out of control because you have regained some of the control over the situation.
Secondly, listen to the pain he was in. Have some empathy for what drove him to this behavior. It sounds like he really does love you, but was unable to communicate what he needed for some reason. Put yourself in his shoes for a bit and show him that you understand, making it safe for him to share his feelings with you in the future.
Marriage takes work. What that means is that you have to purposefully keep the doors of communication open by telling your truth (without the intent to harm or protect) and insisting on truth telling from your partner. It also means holding back your own reactivity long enough to hear what your partner is really saying.
