Is what I do point less or is he just not opening up?

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

I am in a new relation ship, we've been together for four months. About three weeks ago my boy friend kissed another girl ( as part of a dare, and it was his X that he kissed ) I was really upset and the next day we broke up. We got back together about a week later and I sometimes quistion it. When ever the girl comes up in a conversation between him and I, (note: this is over the phone) I figit a lot and feel really jealouse because the mention of her doesn't seem to bother him. I love him and he tells me he loves me, so do I need to worry? I have just recently transfered schools and he always asks if i'm interested in anyone. ( he has confessed he worries a lot ) The mention of another guy in general makes him tense. He has often got jealous over my guy friends. I try to remind him that I love him and that his worries are unessasary, wich often calms him down. ( not by much though ) I go through the work to earn his trust and I havn't done anything to lose it, unlike him. So is everything I do point less or is he just not opening up? I still take in consideration that I might just be shutting down because I am not hearing what I want to hear?[email protected]

Replies(2)

stephen_d..

Point less

2 years ago

From what i have read I would suggest you have a sit down conversation with your other half. Ask all the question you need to ask. Then have him ask you question. What sounds like to me he is skirting around the problem, He's dating other women and hoping he can catch you in something. Need to have all your eggs in one basket before going thru with this. Remember if you are not happy then he should be miserable..

Best of luck

Beagle

Re: Is what I do point less or is he just not opening up?

2 years ago

One thing isn't clear to me. How did you know about him kissing the girl? I suspect that fact might be the key here.

Please be sure you aren't putting two and two together and getting five. He could be worried about you hooking up with someone else because he has a guilty conscience and he's projecting that onto you. It could also be that he's absolutely crazy about you and he's worried about losing you. With long-distance relationships, it's entirely too easy to try to reach conclusions without enough facts. I really agree with Stephen's advice that you and he need to have this conversation. I'm saying that with the presumption that you can trust his word. If you can't, then that's another matter entirely. My experience is that there are a lot of men who won't lie but won't volunteer the information either. If he's basically an honorable guy, then I think the best thing to do is take Stephen's advice and just ask the questions you need to ask. I'd still like to know how you found out about the kiss of the ex however.