Its our First time.. but i dont know what to do??

in Sex and Intimacy » Sex Tips and Advice • 2 years ago

:confused:Hi my name is Lili.. i was raised a catholic and therefore had no Sex education. i am currently seeing someone and its been 2 years. And well you can say you sexual tention is really high. We never really talked about the topic because of respect but kno its getting to the point that when we see each other is kind of hard because of the tention. i am a very reserved girl and that the main reason. i have no Sex education and well honestly i know he's the one but i dont know how to go about doing anything. we are both virgin but he is really eduacated in the topic and since im not its really hard to talk about the topic. Please help me out. i want both of us to be confterable but if im not then i know things are not going to go well. thanks

Replies(4)

Beagle

Re: Its our First time.. but i dont know what to do??

2 years ago

My first piece of advice is do not proceed until you have educated yourself on safety regarding sexual relationships. Girls do get pregnant the first time they have sex and sneaking one of your mom or sister's pills the day after won't help. You drastically need some basic sex education. Some of Dan and Jennifer's YouTube videos are excellent, but probably not as detailed as you're going to need. You need to go to your local bookstore and get a book such as "The Joy of Sex" or "Sex for Dummies" and educate yourself before you proceed. Please don't proceed until you are educated enought to proceed in a safe manner. I know that's not what you were asking, but that's what I'm telling you. I'm a counselor in private practice and every week I see people touched by HIV, hepatitis, and unplanned pregnancies. You don't need to do ANYTHING until you and he are both sure you know the basic facts of life. If you don't have access to a bookstore, or are just too embarrassed to buy a book like that, a school counselor or the local health department can provide you with useful information and birth control. As to the "How do we do it part" I would just recommend getting a book such as the one I mentioned. BUT YOU'RE NOT READY FOR THAT YET. Get the basic safety information first!

From an emotional perspective, just remember that your virginity is something you can only give once. It's not fair, but that's the way it is. Are you sure that this guy is the one?

jtothev

Re: Its our First time.. but i dont know what to do??

2 years ago

I don't think jumping into intercourse is the best course of action... I agree with Beagle, get more information on it, real good information not colored by a certain moral view point (he gave some good book suggestions) you can talk to a gynecologist too to get good information and it is something that is confidential if you are afraid of your parents. You need to be prepared, and for sure and be protected, sex does change things... in the mean time why not relieve some of that sexual tension? There are other ways to experience sexual pleasure without intercourse and even without any cloths off... I maintained my virginity in a 5 year long serious relationship and never died (and am glad I waited because it turns out he was not the one and I would have regretted it if I did do it), you can do things like watching each other masturbate, dry humping (with more than just underwear because underwear is not a condom), touching each other... there is so much you can do to give each other sexual pleasure. I'll be honest for most girls sex in not comfortable and even painful for the first several time (not for every girl certainly but I would say most; for me it was almost unbearable and I broke down crying in pain, thank god my fiancé knew to stop right away and we got past that slowly together) I think sharing pleasure is important and you should do it, but set boundaries for each other and no intercourse till you both are educated, and have a conversation to make sure all he knows matches what you know. You may be surprised to find how someone who feels they know a lot about sex knows so much false information! Be smart be safe be prepared emotionally and mentally for sex and then you are ready and will have no regrets. So many people I know though they were ready but were not and now have a lot of regrets regarding their first time.