Ask Dan & Jennifer

Originally posted by: K. in Cleveland
I find that many people who lash out at others' choices are simply uneducated. Ignorance is a horrible thing, it leads to misunderstandings which leads to arguments, which leads to wars! Whether from a Judeo-Christian society, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or anny other major religion, are not the basic tenants of each to love one another and live peacefully? This is not to say that we see this practiced in each religion, but that is because extremists ruin the view that most within that religious belief system subscribe to.

K, I saw this but initially wasn't even going to go there. Sorry you experienced that, some people are just hateful and ignorant.

Absolutely, at their core most (if not all if you go back far enough) have a message of peace and love and acceptance for your fellow man. But "man" and religious institutions (read: organizations built by man) have bastardized those messages to their own gain over the centuries, which is how we end up with millions of people killed "in the name of God". Is there truly greater sacrilege? Anyway.

Frankly hate tends to come out of ignorance, kind of a package deal. Growing up amidst any type of fundamentalism is basically brainwashing and indoctrination into the ignorance being pushed in that particular camp, i.e. "those folks over there are bad, God hatest them". Yeah, an all knowing, omnipotent, omnipresent being really gives a damn whehter or not you have sex more than twice a month, or whatever other equally silly thing. Sure, just keep telling yourself that. LOL

It's easy to say "don't let it get to you" but even though many of us know better, we're human, and junk like that still gets to us now and then. :)

Just a thought, you might try a site that screens and bans those types of people better - AFF is pretty decent (and has a massive member base); SDC has a better screening of members "by the members" as a community, but a much smaller member base.

Originally posted by: K. in Cleveland
I think all the world's problems could be solved if everyone re-learned that basic thing we all learned in Kindergarten: Treat others as you would want them to treat you.

Very well said indeed...

Originally posted by: K. in Cleveland
I just looked on the profile my fiancee and I have on a swinger's personals site... I'm quite frustrated and upset right now. It usually takes a lot for me to get upset, especially at ignorance, but for some reason this did it to me... We usually get 1 or 2 messages a month quoting the Bible and telling us in a nice way that we can still be saved. But today when I checked our mail we had a particularly nasty "Christian" note:
You are disgusting. All people who engage in such adulterus behaviors will burn in hell for eternity. You can make the choice to continue in your sinful ways or you can repent and live in God's way, in a committed relationship with only one another. Otherwise God will damn you to hell where you will be sodomized and raped repetedly, in a fashion fit for you.

Why did this bother you, might I ask? Not to sound cold or harsh, but it's completely irrelevant to you, and your fiancee. If this person who sent you the message truly believes what he says, than shame on him. The irony is that he'll likely be the one in hell if he continues his ways, heh. :p

Truth be told, living under the rule of a fictional character seems very bizarre to me, and I don't think it has much place when it comes to living a happy and prosperous life. Do what you want, what makes you feel good/content, and as long as you don't do something against someone's will, you're perfectly in the clear. There is nothing wrong with what you're doing... don't ever doubt this.

Then, you have the "swingers" who don't seem to get the point... and sometimes they get rather nasty. My other half had written to a couple who live about 20 mins from Cleveland. Now, he and I are no Dan and Jennifer, but we're also not morbidly obese or ugly... I'd say we're pretty average.. Well, here's what MeanSwingerCouple01 had to say about that (that is a joke, by the way, not their real name)

Why do you even have your picture on here? You people are fat and ugly. Please do not email us again, we are not interested in beastiality and would never f--- you fat pigs! Can't you read?!? NOT INTERESTED IN FAT PEOPLE! So you are not only FAT and UGLY you are also RETARDED. Go away, no one will even meet you, swinging is for pretty people who other people want to f---! Stop wasting our time and leave us alone. (edited to keep it a little less offensive)

People can be extremely vulgar and rude, but that's just how some folks are. It doesn't matter. Most of the time they are so simply to shadow the fact that they are insecure about themselves. Hardly worthy of acknowledgment.

What is wrong with people? Aren't Christians supposed to show love and compassion to others to share their God's word? Looking to minister to the "lost sheep" is one thing, but you're not supposed to offend them in the process, are you? And as far as our looks.. well, I know in the circles we've traveled, there are people of every size, shape, color, and intelligence level. Perhaps the 10's swing with other 10's, but the rest of us don't seem to care... it's a friendship thing, isn't it? I have friends who are monogamous, and I don't judge their looks as to whether they are going to be my friend or not... so why should swinging friends be any different? I find that many people who lash out at others' choices are simply uneducated. Ignorance is a horrible thing, it leads to misunderstandings which leads to arguments, which leads to wars! Whether from a Judeo-Christian society, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or anny other major religion, are not the basic tenants of each to love one another and live peacefully? This is not to say that we see this practiced in each religion, but that is because extremists ruin the view that most within that religious belief system subscribe to.

The world is filled with hypocrites, the only thing you can do is laugh it off, because in a sense; it is quite funny. ;)

I guess what really got to me was that someone was so not only ignorant, but so adamantly stupid about it, that they had to go take the time to write something like that. You know? I mean, if I see something that I don't like I move on (unless it's obviously inciteful or hateful to an individual or group as some other forums out there can get) but these ignoramooses (i love that pseudo-word) actually took the time to write out their ignorant feelings. I really rarely let things get to me, which is why law enforcement is a good field for me..lol.. but I guess sometimes it does just bother me.

One short story which is true to the best of my recollection is so good at illustrating how we learn biases as we get older. I used to work at a place where there was childcare for up to 2 hours while the parents were on the premesis... it went from 6 months to 7 years in there. There was a middle eastern woman (I do not know exactly where from, but she wore the burka so I assume she is Islamic) who had 2 kids in there all the time. There was also a Jewish family who frequently had their children in there at the same time... as well as multiple other children of all colors and presumably religious backgrounds, but these 2 I knew for sure. Well, 2 years ago, these kids would be playing with each other, laughing and sharing like 3, 4, and 5 year olds do... but then right before I left that place of employment I noticed the middle eastern woman's children weren't playing with the Jewish kids. And one night the Jewish father brought 3 of his kids in while the middle eastern woman was leaving with hers and I saw him avoid her, shoot her an awful nasty look, and tuck his kids away from her! No wonder the little kids didn't play anymore. Whether told outrightly from their parents or just learned from observation, they learned that bias. How damaging to kids are we? I admit, I do not understand all cultures from around the world, and sometimes when something is foreign to us we shy away from it, but there is a difference between not understanding and outrightly "dissing" it. I guess that's what really got to me, that these people are ignorant of their ignorance of others' lifestyles that they attack it.

Thanks for listening. This has been another rant brought to you by K. in Cleveland. :)

I guess what really got to me was that someone was so not only ignorant, but so adamantly stupid about it, that they had to go take the time to write something like that. You know?

LOL - I'm not laughing at you K. (Jennifer here btw)

It's just - OMG - Have you read some of the comments on our YouTube Videos? Or ever read the comments the guys on DIGG make?

There are just some people out there who have to be rude and insult others to make themselves feel better. These people have such an incredible low self esteem, that it's the only way they can feel good about themselves.

We had someone on the live show who would sign in, send us a private chat filled with something that had to be Turretts related, and then sign off again before the moderator could ban him/her. It was annoying, but also hilarious!

And of course our egos get insulted and want to attack back. it's perfectly normal - just recognize that it's your ego that is hurt. Nothing anyone else can do can ever hurt you unless you let them.

My ego likes to think it's pretty evolved, but he still gets out of the box on occasion!

Oh, and I totally agree on the other point -"We just don't know what we don't know - until we do" :cool:

Originally posted by: Dan And Jennifer
And of course our egos get insulted and want to attack back. it's perfectly normal - just recognize that it's your ego that is hurt. Nothing anyone else can do can ever hurt you unless you let them.

My ego likes to think it's pretty evolved, but he still gets out of the box on occasion!

Oh, and I totally agree on the other point -"We just don't know what we don't know - until we do" :cool:

Oh, I don't like to attack back...lol.. I used to though. About 3 years ago, when I decided I was going to get into law enforcement, I decided I had to stop being stupid and start obeying traffic laws and acting like an adult. It was amazing how quickly my "road rage" went down after I started driving the speed limit and stopping completely at all stop signs etc, etc. I also adopted a, "No matter what happens, it could be worse, and life goes on," attitude and it has really helped me through some times when the brown stuff hit the rotating blades.... I guess I was just fed up with stupidity stuffing my inbox and wanted to vent. Really, I wasn't hurt by it, because I always like to consider the source...lol... just was frustrated and annoyed that even with mandatory public education and so many government grants and scholarships available out there that people are still so uneducated and backwards as to think in those ways.... not to say I don't have some lame thoughts sometimes, but I usually don't share them..lol

But thanks for the sharing.... and yes, I have read some of the youtubers' responses and just thought WTF?