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Hi. I just lost my virginity three days ago and I have some questions.
A friend of mine invited me over to get drunk with him. Based on the things we had said in past conversations, it was pretty obvious that we would end up having sex. I was really looking forward to losing my virginity. He was careful to let me go only as far as I wanted and to let me go at my own pace. And we made sure to use a condom.
I'm wondering if I did the right thing. I was so excited that I had lost it afterwards. I had a new experience and I liked it. It was fun. I was relieved that I didn't lose to some random guy at a party like I almost did a couple months ago. I don't know Greg all that well, but we used to sit and have late night conversations during his night shift, as he was the front desk guy in my residence hall. Now I'm questioning whether or not I should have had sex with him. It's weird to think that I've actually had sex. I'll never have another first time. Part of it is that I don't remember most of it because I had one drink too many. I remember what it felt like and a few other things, but not much. And I remember giving him oral, which I'm not usually comfortable doing sober. (The only person I've done it to is my ex but I was okay doing that to him.) I kind of feel like I wasted my first time because I can't remember it. I'm wondering if I try hard enough, if I can at least remember a little bit more, even though I blacked out most of it.
Another thing is that I don't think we were as careful as we should have been because we were so drunk. He was 8 inches and went all the way in. I'm a really small person. I don't know if we took it slow or not. I do remember the pain, although it was still pleasurable, which is normal. I bled at first, so I took a shower, and we ended up doing it two more times that night. I woke up the next morning and I had pain, but there was also a strange feeling throughout my abdomen like things had shifted around a little bit. I still hurt a little bit "down there" and this is three days later, and I had a little bit of old blood coming down for two days afterwards.
I'm also confused about some things he said to me afterwards. When I asked him if we would eventually do it again, he told me no, because that's when emotions get involved. I don't understand. We've both said that we don't want a dating relationship with each other, it was all physical. And what could be more emotional than losing/taking my virginity? I don't really understand how emotion plays out in our situation. Why we can't just be friends with benefits. I'd like to do it again, considering the whole virginity thing is over. Does he just not want to tell me I'm bad at it? I asked him if I was good for a first-timer, and he said yes, and I was pretty good overall. Is he lying?
As I was leaving, he said "Keep in touch." I'm not sure what he meant by this. Does that mean we'll just go our separate ways? We don't know each other that well, but we've had quite a few conversations during his shifts about things unrelated to sex. He's said that I'd be a fun person to hang out with, but that might have just been to get drunk with me.
On a completely unsexual note, I told him a few things that I didn't exactly want him to know about me while I was drunk. I told him about my psychological problems. I don't want him to think I'm as messed up as I may have sounded. I don't remember most of what I told him, but I feel like I should explain myself. He said that he just watched TV and didn't listen to what I said since he knew I wouldn't want him to know this, but I think I remember him responding to a few things. Not sure how to fix that one because I might have freaked him out. I've pretty much decided that I don't want to get completely wasted again because I always end up telling someone something they don't need to know about me and I always regret a lot of things I do while I'm drunk. I also get terrible hangovers.
Sorry this is so long. I just have a lot of questions that no one seems to be able to answer. Not a lot of people know about this. I just want some advice before I mention anything to him.
A friend of mine invited me over to get drunk with him. Based on the things we had said in past conversations, it was pretty obvious that we would end up having sex. I was really looking forward to losing my virginity. He was careful to let me go only as far as I wanted and to let me go at my own pace. And we made sure to use a condom.
I'm wondering if I did the right thing. I was so excited that I had lost it afterwards. I had a new experience and I liked it. It was fun. I was relieved that I didn't lose to some random guy at a party like I almost did a couple months ago. I don't know Greg all that well, but we used to sit and have late night conversations during his night shift, as he was the front desk guy in my residence hall. Now I'm questioning whether or not I should have had sex with him. It's weird to think that I've actually had sex. I'll never have another first time. Part of it is that I don't remember most of it because I had one drink too many. I remember what it felt like and a few other things, but not much. And I remember giving him oral, which I'm not usually comfortable doing sober. (The only person I've done it to is my ex but I was okay doing that to him.) I kind of feel like I wasted my first time because I can't remember it. I'm wondering if I try hard enough, if I can at least remember a little bit more, even though I blacked out most of it.
Another thing is that I don't think we were as careful as we should have been because we were so drunk. He was 8 inches and went all the way in. I'm a really small person. I don't know if we took it slow or not. I do remember the pain, although it was still pleasurable, which is normal. I bled at first, so I took a shower, and we ended up doing it two more times that night. I woke up the next morning and I had pain, but there was also a strange feeling throughout my abdomen like things had shifted around a little bit. I still hurt a little bit "down there" and this is three days later, and I had a little bit of old blood coming down for two days afterwards.
I'm also confused about some things he said to me afterwards. When I asked him if we would eventually do it again, he told me no, because that's when emotions get involved. I don't understand. We've both said that we don't want a dating relationship with each other, it was all physical. And what could be more emotional than losing/taking my virginity? I don't really understand how emotion plays out in our situation. Why we can't just be friends with benefits. I'd like to do it again, considering the whole virginity thing is over. Does he just not want to tell me I'm bad at it? I asked him if I was good for a first-timer, and he said yes, and I was pretty good overall. Is he lying?
As I was leaving, he said "Keep in touch." I'm not sure what he meant by this. Does that mean we'll just go our separate ways? We don't know each other that well, but we've had quite a few conversations during his shifts about things unrelated to sex. He's said that I'd be a fun person to hang out with, but that might have just been to get drunk with me.
On a completely unsexual note, I told him a few things that I didn't exactly want him to know about me while I was drunk. I told him about my psychological problems. I don't want him to think I'm as messed up as I may have sounded. I don't remember most of what I told him, but I feel like I should explain myself. He said that he just watched TV and didn't listen to what I said since he knew I wouldn't want him to know this, but I think I remember him responding to a few things. Not sure how to fix that one because I might have freaked him out. I've pretty much decided that I don't want to get completely wasted again because I always end up telling someone something they don't need to know about me and I always regret a lot of things I do while I'm drunk. I also get terrible hangovers.
Sorry this is so long. I just have a lot of questions that no one seems to be able to answer. Not a lot of people know about this. I just want some advice before I mention anything to him.
