Ask Dan & Jennifer

Love is easy. But staying in a relationship is work. Even when you love them.

Dear Love,

I would like to answer ur first question :
Do we create love for ourselves or do we find ourselves caught up in it?

Love is something pure....it did not recognize skin color, religion, old, young people, race, or anything........
However people sometime did not know it, they use love, hide behind the name of love for their own benefit, although some also really experience love and great full by it.

So what I say is, people able to create love in some circumstance, for good and bad reason....and hope it can stay longer....as long as they could.

So what if we get our self caught in it? now that's another problem, there are no planning when you get caught by it, sometimes you can not help it whether they were somebody husband/wife, different religion, race, (or in my case your best friend girl friend...heee heeee).
You just can not choice.....The heart goes where it goes.

Second question already answer by Scarbowl.......


Regrds,
...

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Hey all,
My name is Jason and I am addicted to L{}VE! (Hi, Jason!) :D

I'm kinda sick of people who put their heart in the same place they keep their relationship ... their brain ... (4 The Record: I'm not saying you are one of them) I'm just trying to say what is the real meaning of this feeling for me.

U know those butterflies, the smile on your face when you see the person, dreaming about holding each other's hands,your insane heartbeat when you think of them ... which is unstoppable. Everything about them seems perfect 2 U. Love is like the flu, u never now how and when you can get it, or how long is it going to stay, but no matter if you realize it or not, it's there from the very first moment you saw that person...
So I guess my answer to your question is that Love just enters your life. If you close the door, it gets inside trough the window. U can't run away, and why would you?!

I don't believe that love comes with time ... I don't believe that you should give your all to someone just to make them love you... I don't believe that there is only one person for you out there ... so no matter if you are unhappy you should make sacrifices just so you won't be alone ...

I believe that love is everywhere and we don't have to suffer to find it. We only have to open our eyes and shut down our brains. Love is not sex, relationship, big house, car, 5 kids and a dog.

Love is something you feel, love isn't someone next to you, something you do, something you know or something you are planning to create for yourself with someone. Love is something that happens right now, deep inside, and if you let it take all you have... it will give you everything you have ever needed...

But if someone doesn't love you back, that doesn't mean that there isn't love for you ... LOVE IS EVERYWHERE ... Just open your eyes and enjoy the feeling... making someone your prisoner , being attached to them 24\7 is not love ... now that is relationship ... and I'm not saying that relationships are something bad, or something that is far away from love.... but love is not relationship and having a relationship doesn't mean you are in love ...

Ok ... I should stop talking right now I'm a bit of a chatbox... :P

XOXO

Jason

Good stuff
I agree with many of the points you all have made...I personally dont see where I put much work into love or my relationship.
I was awestruck the day I met my spouse...you know its bad when you set a date that your going to argue and flip a coin as to what it will be about....(joking mainly.) But thats why I pose the question...we seem to "float" through everything.....Recently we had a serious family trial which taxed us incredibly, we both felt it and it was a struggle...but it felt like the love we had was so much bigger , again ...we floated. Love is not jealous, the ego is. Love does not posess one another like property, fear does. Love respects one another,..and I dont think love really gives a rats ass who is right or wrong...I think it only cares about love..I think tooooo many things have gotten in the way of love in the world today....I wish we could all just go back and remembering what it was in a person we loved before we "pushed" our ego upon it.
I do know that our communication and sharing is off the charts and I attribute much of what we experience in our bond and love to that very thing....perhaps in this way it could be considered work but its been soooo damn fun!!...One of the things I enjoy most in life is that my spouse is so free to talk to me..about anything,...cuz they know I will love them all the more for that faith well placed.
Although you may or may disagree with this but I dont know how else to describe it....(dont read to much into the words).
"I no longer care about me, nor do I worry about taking care of myself....I have given all of me to my mate and it is my spouse who takes care of me." On the other foot, I judge myself soley on how happy my spouse is and have made it my highest priority to place them before my own self....translation; I completely spoil my mate rotten...and I am treated like a king.......(hows that for off the deep end?)....I love every minute of it.
So I think its probably safe to say that the "work" we have put into our relationship has most definitely blossomed in our love...thus making it the most effortless thing I have ever experienced...
...shewy..I am a wind bag..
I'll close this one before I fry a capacitor or something...lol...
V/r...Love

Do we create love for ourselves or do we find ourselves caught up in it?
I personally think it's both. We do create it for us to live and feed off of in a sense and we do get caught up in it. I can say I created my "love" and feed off it because i am caught up in it. I don't say this in a negative way and what I mean by creating is that I was the one to start the relationship off not her.

Is Love the hard work we hear about or is it the most effortless thing in the world?
It's both, It comes effortlessly and it's hard work. Its one thing to fall in love its a complete another to keep it. Like you stated the "ego" is the thing that gets into the way. I'm glad you stated that because I never looked at it that way.

Might add more later but this is all I can come up with for now.

Dear Love,

Its so glad that in this crazy world, I still can feel the true love that you both have....its very touched to see what you have written and I can only hope that I.... my self, some day could find a kind of love that you both have right know....

Regrds,

Friends,
Your comments are appreciated!...
If there is magic in this world then I think its alive and well in the couple living in love. If magic by definition is changing one thing into another...
For me....I just want to be loved for what I truly am on the inside, I want my spouse to know everything about me, my strengths as well as my shortcomings...my (supposed) darkest secrets, and even those controversial views. When we married 12 years ago (I think) I just didnt realize what communicating all that to each other would do.....I mention ego because I think it gets in the way of loving ourselves and one another...My theory was that if my spouse knows everything there is....and still thinks I am the greatest;..then I found something real, pure and genuine...Nothing on the outside can interfere with that...No matter what we do, we do it together, hand in hand, side by side....and I am talking more spiritually than physically here.
We are immune to jealousy, love each other beyond angry, its almost like love.....muscled out ego...wewt!....So to me this is magic, we were one way when this all began and now we are something completely different.
I also believe that love is natural...to force it is a catastrophy, but to "flow" with it is a relaxing journey down the stream of life..I think we as humans simply love to think we are in control, and we get so uptight when things dont go as we "expect"...interesting word, because we "expect" alot even when sometimes we dont have the right to...
It is because of all this that at times I dont feel like I work at love, I am too busy taking in the sights floating down the stream...

I believe with all I am that sooo many relationship problems can be solved or avoided entirely through sharing and careing....If a couple can talk enough not to fear each others reaction and can get it all on the table....there is a magical side effect..you fall deeper and deeper...
I hope this finds someone that can use it, I stumbled upon these things in nature it could be said. We wish you all the very best in your adventure.

V/r....Love

Love sounds so complicated in this thread! :p

It all comes down to our personality's when it comes down to complex or easy love.

If your partner has similar interests then love is far easier. Both enjoy camping, same foods, movies, sport etc. It can be hard to find a similar interest sometimes though.

If your partner is very sporty and you like to sit at home and paint or watch TV then love gets tough. It takes a lot of effort to keep the relationship going. Relationships like this tend to stick together because your both attracted to each other and sex is great. Maybe you're both vegans or believe in similar ideals. Little things are like glue. This is big reason for divorce in my opinion.

I'v always been in the second category, never really having a lot of similar interests and its darn hard. I stay single because I can't find any girl who likes what I like (Im very art minded). I notice that those who have the best relationships are those with similar interests.

I think we create love for ourselves.Without love no one can live.It is difficult to earn.Life is short.We have to enjoy our life.For this you have to make love.