Ask Dan & Jennifer

I had been sexually active for about two years before I gave my first blow job. For me, it was about trust. I didn't trust my first sexual partner not to cum in my mouth. My second sexual partner was very patient with me, and I slowly came around to seeing it as a pretty awesome part of foreplay. I don't know if you're wanting a blow to orgasm or just as part of foreplay, but here's my advise. You might want to start by getting the book The Guide to Getting It On. Let your girlfriend know that you won't do anything that she wouldn't want you to do. Read it together. Go over the chapter "Penises and Popsicles" together. It also has a technique that shows how to give head to completion without actually having to put the whole penis in your mouth, and my husband says it's a pretty fantastic alternative. If you're the type of guy who likes to surprise or gross out your girl, you might want to chill out a bit and let her know that she can trust you. You might also want to go together to buy some flavored condoms and/or the new KY Kissable Sensations. My first blow job was a very memorable and excited experience because we went and bought some strawberry-flavored dusting powder, a feather tickler, and some toy handcuffs together just for the occassion. Because he was handcuffed to the bed, I knew I was in total control and he couldn't grab my head or my hair, which is never cool, but I know a lot of guys think this is okay to do. And make sure you're very clean and that your butt and your nuts are not stinking. The main thing is to be patient and understanding. One day, she may come around, but if you dump her or coerce her because she doesn't want to, you're a jerk.

Thank you SpiderPDM,
Okay well I'll start by answering your questions, I personally only want it for foreplay, not to cum in her mouth. Also the most I would do is brush her hair out if her face so it's not in the way. (is that a no-no, too?) So you're saying I should just wait for her to come around? Okay, I think I can do that. All right, I'll try your advise and get back to you with any results

we were married for about 7 months.. He pressured me alot. He tried to makeme feel guilty for not doing it... He even threatened to cheat on me.... He says alot of things he doesn't mean.... He is a loving guy.. I love him to pieces!!!! He was not a good guy back when we first got married... We will be married 5 years to the day this thursday!! For the most part when he was nice and patient with me, we talked alot about it.... He gave me advice about it. One night we were makin love and I just did it.... It took me a while to get used to it... I now enjoy making his toes curl every night!! It may be the same way for your girlfriend!! Be more patient with her and help ease her fears!

Thanks Millie
Well congrats about you and your marriage. Thank you both for the advise and I'll be sure to take it out. I hope she follows in your foot steps, that would be a nice surprise.

Originally posted by: Scarredprince
Okay well I'll start by answering your questions, I personally only want it for foreplay, not to cum in her mouth. Also the most I would do is brush her hair out if her face so it's not in the way. (is that a no-no, too?)

Make sure your girl knows that these are your only intentions. Honesty in sex is very important. When I was younger, I seriously thought I would never ever give head. It frightened me. It just seemed disgusting. My first sexual partner was the sort of guy who would do really rude things to "surprise" me, so when he wanted oral, I figured he wouldn't comply with my wishes not to come in my mouth. My second sexual partner was much cooler when it came to that sort of thing, and he never pressured me. After a while, the idea actually started to excite me. Now, I really enjoy it, and I've been complimented on my techniques ;) I'm even back in a relationship with my first sexual partner, and it's the first thing I did when we had sex again for the first time. He had/has changed a lot in the last 17 years.

I hope to hear some positive results from the advice you've been given. :)

Originally posted by: SpiderPDM
Make sure your girl knows that these are your only intentions. Honesty in sex is very important. When I was younger, I seriously thought I would never ever give head. It frightened me. It just seemed disgusting. My first sexual partner was the sort of guy who would do really rude things to "surprise" me, so when he wanted oral, I figured he wouldn't comply with my wishes not to come in my mouth. My second sexual partner was much cooler when it came to that sort of thing, and he never pressured me. After a while, the idea actually started to excite me. Now, I really enjoy it, and I've been complimented on my techniques ;) I'm even back in a relationship with my first sexual partner, and it's the first thing I did when we had sex again for the first time. He had/has changed a lot in the last 17 years.

I hope to hear some positive results from the advice you've been given. :)

Thanks again, SpiderPDM, for all your help. I've decided to just ignore the idea with her for a while to keep her from feeling pressure and the fact that I've kinda given up hope on the idea of getting it so I'll just leave it at what it is and wait for her to come around even though I am very doubtful. I'll update all on any update when (if) they happen

Read these blog posts:

How To Get More Blowjobs | Female Orgasm Blog

How To Get Women To Do New Things In Bed | Female Orgasm Blog

Well, still nothing. I've tried all advice given with no results. I'm am sad to say but I'm giving up on trying to get oral from my girlfriend, I know to wait for her to come around which I stIll am doing. I've simply given up hope of her coming around to it. Nothing has changed in her opinion and frankly nothing really helped. It was all good advice but I simply think she's a little too strong willed for anything to phase her. I've slowly lost more and more hope as each piece of advice did nothing but frustrate her so it is safe to say that I'm not getting it. Thank you all and if any updates happen (doubtful) I'll update them as soon as I can.:(

Or do you have a "submissive" personality? Be more dominant outside the bedroom so that when you're in the bedroom you can tell her to get on her knees and put your cock in her mouth.

It sounds like you're not displaying leadership qualities in your relationship and nothing happens unless she feels like it. These kinds of relationships tend to end badly unless the guy learns to lead.

At the rate you're going at right now, even if you do finally get head from your gf (doubtful that it's going to even happen), she's going to do it as a chore to get over with rather than because it's something she wants to do. Oral sex shouldn't be looked at as a favor that one is doing for the other. I'm also willing to guess that the lack of oral isn't the only problem you're having in your relationship.

Title says all. No more need to update since it has been done