Ask Dan & Jennifer

It sounds like you're trapped in "either-or" thinking. In this case, it seems the either-or is "Either it's anal sex or boring sex." That simply isn't true. There are countless variations of healthy sexual expression.

It's also telling that you didn't elaborate on what he didn't like about or sex. There are many possible reasons he didn't like it, but that tells me that you and he haven't communicated about this. That's a conversation that only you and he can have?

Also, you don't say why anal sex is so important to you. I suspect there's more to the story there.

Originally posted by: Beagle
It sounds like you're trapped in "either-or" thinking. In this case, it seems the either-or is "Either it's anal sex or boring sex." That simply isn't true. There are countless variations of healthy sexual expression.

It's also telling that you didn't elaborate on what he didn't like about or sex. There are many possible reasons he didn't like it, but that tells me that you and he haven't communicated about this. That's a conversation that only you and he can have?

Also, you don't say why anal sex is so important to you. I suspect there's more to the story there.

he told me he dont like it b/c he likes it vaginally and anal is important to me b/c i dont get off vaginally i never have since i started having sex which in case it is important i started having sex when i was 11 and i have to fake all of my orgasms and to put it simple i dont want to fake it anymore when we tryed it analy for the first time in my sex life i had my first one and i dont want to lose that feel now so is there anything i can do

Thank you for the clarification. Ultimately, all you can do is tell him what you just told me and see where the conversation goes from there. If he doesn't like anal sex, one possibility that could produce more pleasure for you is use of a vibrator or penis simulator for anal stimulation during vaginal intercourse.

If your becoming sexually active at eleven was abuse, you may have trauma issues that need to be addressed with a professional therapist.