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My question belongs in so many different categories, it's hard to know where to begin! It encompasses online dating, relationships, sex... and personalities!
I am a 39 year old bi female, married to a 38 year old straight male. We've been together over a decade, and we are the very definition of a stable relationship... we can and DO talk to one another about everything. We've taken this long before acting on our desires to bring a third into our bedroom, to be sure that we had considered everything, and to allow him to be very comfortable with this new lifestyle decision. (I have some prior experience in this lifestyle, before we met.)
We moved forward and posted our profile on an adult website... describing in detail exactly what type of girl we were seeking. I never really thought it would work... i always wondered which of those sites were scams and which might be legit!
Lo and behold, we got every man's dream... a 19 year old co-ed looking to learn what it's like to be in a threesome. Because of how incredibly open and honest I was in my profile, she was attracted to us, and specifically said that our interest in "helping those new to the lifestyle" learn what it's about in a safe and relaxed environment is what caught her eye (along with our truthful post that he's not one to "be done" just because "he's done"... apparently college guys are very much the "turn out the light and hit the hay" types, leaving poor young women on college campuses around the globe completely dissatisfied!).
We've had several private chats with her -- between her and I, and between him and I, and both of us together. She's asked a few specific questions about threesomes, but otherwise says that she's "bad at questions". We've carried most of the conversations to date... talking openly about safe sex, discretion, and communication to ensure that everyone has a good time. We've discussed how the first encounter would pan out, so that she could feel safe going with us.
She's just incredibly laid back, and very sweet, but claims NOT to be shy... and I'm sure that she's not as talkative with us as she might be with her friends online in part because we are a little older... but i was hoping maybe the folks here can offer their insight:
(1) Can anyone here talk about some ideas that might help this girl talk to us a little more? We've done the 'open ended questions' thing, with varied but minor results... perhaps if anyone has any little skills that might at the very least just keep the online conversations interesting until we finally do meet (which is in about 3 weeks).
(2) We've exchanges photos, and she's very interested in both of us. Of course we've talked between us about what she might be looking for, and are ready for "whatever she's looking for" -- a one-night-of-passion vs. a regular-encounters relationship. We feel the confident the attraction is there between all of us. So from here, does anyone have any fun suggestions they can make, that can keep this light and super-fun, ASIDE from the sexual activities? For example, aside from wining and dining (and this girl's not much for heavy 'romance'), are there any experiences that any of you have had, that made a difference in the overall "fun" factor, that you didn't expect, but were pleasantly surprised to discover, when your threesome encounter(s) finally happened?
(3) This girl is truly low-stress... to her, age is "just a number", which is just what a couple in their late 30's wants to hear in this type of situation. Because we have a very satisfying sex life already, we feel confident that we can give this girl the right kind of attention. On the "purely logical front", we've done our research so that we know what NOT to do during a threesome (especially with regards to playing "movie director")... but are there any young persons here that have considered a threesome, that can chime in and speak for what THEY would like their first experience to be like, if they could have one?
I'm sorry my post is rambling... but we just want to get to know this person as best we can, and not 'scare her off'. Maybe the best thing to do from here is keep the online chats shorter and strictly 'sexual' until we meet? We've asked and received all the answers WE need, and we've continually told her that if she's at all uncomfortable or unsure about something, she need only say the word, ask away, etc... and she's just, well, seemingly very shy.
Late-teens, chime in, if you're here! Couples that have hosted younger women, chime in! Please just go easy on me -- no flames please, just some warmth as you discuss this important topic with us.
Thanks for your time!
I am a 39 year old bi female, married to a 38 year old straight male. We've been together over a decade, and we are the very definition of a stable relationship... we can and DO talk to one another about everything. We've taken this long before acting on our desires to bring a third into our bedroom, to be sure that we had considered everything, and to allow him to be very comfortable with this new lifestyle decision. (I have some prior experience in this lifestyle, before we met.)
We moved forward and posted our profile on an adult website... describing in detail exactly what type of girl we were seeking. I never really thought it would work... i always wondered which of those sites were scams and which might be legit!
Lo and behold, we got every man's dream... a 19 year old co-ed looking to learn what it's like to be in a threesome. Because of how incredibly open and honest I was in my profile, she was attracted to us, and specifically said that our interest in "helping those new to the lifestyle" learn what it's about in a safe and relaxed environment is what caught her eye (along with our truthful post that he's not one to "be done" just because "he's done"... apparently college guys are very much the "turn out the light and hit the hay" types, leaving poor young women on college campuses around the globe completely dissatisfied!).
We've had several private chats with her -- between her and I, and between him and I, and both of us together. She's asked a few specific questions about threesomes, but otherwise says that she's "bad at questions". We've carried most of the conversations to date... talking openly about safe sex, discretion, and communication to ensure that everyone has a good time. We've discussed how the first encounter would pan out, so that she could feel safe going with us.
She's just incredibly laid back, and very sweet, but claims NOT to be shy... and I'm sure that she's not as talkative with us as she might be with her friends online in part because we are a little older... but i was hoping maybe the folks here can offer their insight:
(1) Can anyone here talk about some ideas that might help this girl talk to us a little more? We've done the 'open ended questions' thing, with varied but minor results... perhaps if anyone has any little skills that might at the very least just keep the online conversations interesting until we finally do meet (which is in about 3 weeks).
(2) We've exchanges photos, and she's very interested in both of us. Of course we've talked between us about what she might be looking for, and are ready for "whatever she's looking for" -- a one-night-of-passion vs. a regular-encounters relationship. We feel the confident the attraction is there between all of us. So from here, does anyone have any fun suggestions they can make, that can keep this light and super-fun, ASIDE from the sexual activities? For example, aside from wining and dining (and this girl's not much for heavy 'romance'), are there any experiences that any of you have had, that made a difference in the overall "fun" factor, that you didn't expect, but were pleasantly surprised to discover, when your threesome encounter(s) finally happened?
(3) This girl is truly low-stress... to her, age is "just a number", which is just what a couple in their late 30's wants to hear in this type of situation. Because we have a very satisfying sex life already, we feel confident that we can give this girl the right kind of attention. On the "purely logical front", we've done our research so that we know what NOT to do during a threesome (especially with regards to playing "movie director")... but are there any young persons here that have considered a threesome, that can chime in and speak for what THEY would like their first experience to be like, if they could have one?
I'm sorry my post is rambling... but we just want to get to know this person as best we can, and not 'scare her off'. Maybe the best thing to do from here is keep the online chats shorter and strictly 'sexual' until we meet? We've asked and received all the answers WE need, and we've continually told her that if she's at all uncomfortable or unsure about something, she need only say the word, ask away, etc... and she's just, well, seemingly very shy.
Late-teens, chime in, if you're here! Couples that have hosted younger women, chime in! Please just go easy on me -- no flames please, just some warmth as you discuss this important topic with us.
Thanks for your time!
