Ask Dan & Jennifer

So one week you want it and the next week you don't?

and one week she doesn't want it and the next week she does?

she'll probably change her mind next week. + she can't be seriously seeing someone else within just a week (she however could have panicked, looked around, slept with someone & had some hopes for it. But a 1 week relationship is by no-one imagination concrete. Just carry on with the divorce really slowly( I mean a snails pace, or stop or slower). And try to make her happy again. She could be lying. She still lives with you right?

Ignore the fact your divorced. Slowly win her back & then forget about it.

Now why are you filing for divorce in the first place?

Oh and after you are steady again and she has finished playing her mindgames and getting her revenge with the whole "I've found someone else malarky" get her to promise to forget and never mention it again. Or otherwise you stand a good chance of getting emotionally blackmailed and her using this to get what she wants.

*edit*
& dude you shouldn't even be at the stage to be trying to get over it yet!

The reason we filled for divorce is we got into this fight and then I said I think were got married to young and I didnt love and I walked out and she saids she still loves me. I sleep on it and relize I was a jurk and I tryed to tell her I didnt want it that I was a fool. Then she said that she wants it cause shes found someone better.

Originally posted by: Brian in Washington
The reason we filled for divorce is we got into this fight and then I said I think were got married to young and I didnt love and I walked out and she saids she still loves me. I sleep on it and relize I was a jurk and I tryed to tell her I didnt want it that I was a fool. Then she said that she wants it cause shes found someone better.

Brian,
It sounds to me like you guys don't have great communication skills. When you told your wife you wanted a divorce you were in a kind of survival mode and not really connected with your rational mind. But your wife didn't know that. Which threw her into a survival mode of her own where she felt she had to reject you in order to feel better about your having rejected her. She may even have run to another guy to try to feel better. None of this has anything to do with whether or not you really want to be together but it sure can make it hard to communicate what you really want!

I suggest you let her know you don't want a divorce and that you realize you don't know how to communicate with her. Acknowledge you part in the problem, in fact, take on the whole deal, tell her the whole thing was your fault and then ask her for her help. Tell her you want to go to therapy to figure out why you do the things you do. Ask her if she will go with you and that you'll go ahead with the divorce if she wants it after you have done therapy.

This will buy you some time and get you both in a setting where you can learn to connect at a deeper level and handle conflict in a better way.

forgive your wife for acting out. she was hurt,and yes she was wrong to take the action she did, but you both need to forgive...
be honest, and admit that you were wrong with being upset and irrational in your descion. tell her, that if you would have approached this in a more adult way, she would have not ran off into another man's arms.
here, you will open the door of forgiveness towards her behaviour by admitting your faults a long with hers.
it's going to take time to sink in, but i belive that she will choose marriage over a sympathy/revenge f***.
for most women, marriage is more than the paper it is written on. it is a solid oath and sacred act of companionship of commitment. we know in our hearts that nothing comes perfect, even our relationships. we always strive on keeping together through thick and thin. it's our natural instict. our man is our life line. without him we have no children, no father, no lover, and no life long friend.
i think that the advice in the previous post of 'dragging your feet', is the best approach.
also, i think if you and her both are willing, try to get marriage counseling / divorce counseling.
be honest and admit your love and try whole heartedly to forgive.
having and affair doesn't mean the end of a relationship. people cheat more than they know. cheating isn't exclussively sex with someone else... remember that...
best wishes