Ask Dan & Jennifer

Its a good thing that you tried talking to him about it. that is probably the first and best step. The only thing is that he is obviously embarrassed about his problem. And it may help more if we knew what this problem is. If his problem prevents him from having sex completely when he doesn't feel he can then thats a whole other issue.
If that is not the case then you could talk to him about it again and suggest that maybe when he doesn't have the energy or something to have sex you could try riding him and being on top. Doing most of the work when he is not able to. If I knew why he doesn't feel he can't do it or if he actually can't then i maybe be able to help more.

Originally posted by: araci
Hello Dan and Jennifer, I am Araci from Peru and I have a sex problem with my boyfriend. We are together for 7 months already and our sex is really good. The problem is that we ONLY and ONLY have sex when HE wants, not when I want. He says is ok because if I feel like not having sex he would have to understand it, so I have to do it as well. The problem here is that my body is able to have more hours and more times of sex than him, so for me is actually a TORTURE to have sex only the times he wants. I talked to him about it and he said this is a really sensitive issue for him (because he says his problem is biological) and that made me feel like I dont want to talk about it anymore, which keeps me in the problem. I already have 2 vibrator but I really prefer sex rather than masturbate. Thank you for your time and hopefully I am not the ONLY women in the human history that has had this.

Look, obviously you two aren't getting everything that you both want. Maybe to keep everything fair, you should make up a schedule. By that I mean that you take turns on when you want to have sex. Maybe he wants to have it today and then you want to have it next week. You can't argue because you're taking turns on it.

I have a very similar problem with my husband. I can count on 1 hand how many times we have had sex in the last 8 months. Its not from lack of wanting on my end I assure you. When I've spoken to my husband about it he just keeps responding that he doesnt have the sex drive. I have tried a million different ways of seducing him, asked if there was anything I could do better to make him want sex more, etc etc etc. Nothing has changed in 3 years. So now I dont bother him about it because I realized that he was starting to feel horrible about the whole situation.

He tried suggesting for me to get a boyfriend on the side but I'm terrified of the reprocusions that may come as a result. The best advise I can give you is to evaluate your relationship and remind yourself of all his other great qualities that keep you two together.

If you find something that magically makes him want it more often PLEASE SHARE! lol I'm about out of my mind. Good luck to you both.