Ask Dan & Jennifer

i am very sorry to hear this.
i am glad that you did your soul searching, and you found christianity a solid back bone for yor faith.
as for your problem, the only thing i can tell you is to pray. God is the only one that has all the answeres. this is a point of your life that God has made out for you. have faith that He knows what is best.
God does test all of us in many ways. you know this by having the atheist back ground.
your lady may be torn between her family, her relgious upbringing, and your relationship.
you showed her some things that in her christian upbringing had been dissmissed or not even accounted for.
if you really need to express yourself to her, then find a way. be honest, loving, and christian about it.
most christian's express love into marriage. unless you are ready to propose, i would suggest more prayer.
trust in God. he will answere you. be ready and listen to your heart, because there God has already shown you the truth.
you and your lady friend are both now in my prayers.
i'm a very outspoken and unconventional catholic lol!!!
good luck, and please keep your faith!

I have family that's very fundamentalist christian, (My direct family being UU, christmas dinner is just LOADS of fun. anyway) I would recommend calling her, and asking her about what her beliefs are, and what has changed etc. Don't argue, don't offer any of your own opinions, just ask to hear her out. After she's finished (supposing she's willing to talk to you) then you can start discussing it (but you might want to start with "i still really care about you, and I'm disappointed that something like this can get in the way of us." sorta thing.

Something that I've learned from my aunts and uncles (some of which speak in tongues): even if their belief doesn't make sense to you, it makes perfect sense to them so you must accept it (atleast that its valid. you don't have to support it yourself). If its a real stumbling block, it'll work itself out in due time. Just remember, communication and honesty are key (don't tell her you believe in something you don't, or don't believe in something you do. she ought to be able to accept you for you, and your beliefs are all apart of that package.)

Good Luck!

I've definitely been where she is.

My family was SUPER fundamentalist too. And it took me years and years to see through it. I'm still a Christian, and I'm glad to hear that you've found faith in God.

The thing I'd tell you is to be extremely patient with her, if you do decide to try and talk to her again. She'll probably say stuff that doesn't make sense to you, but you have to understand that someone has presented her with logic that to her seems inarguable. Someone probably told her that you were encouraging her to listen to false prophets or something since you were showing her how to look beyond just the bible for answers, that you were a bad influence, and that she should no longer see you. When I was in that church situation, I was told that the bible said not to be unequally yoked, so that meant I was not only not to marry anyone who wasn't a Christian, but that that person had to also be on a similar spiritual track and "level of spiritual maturity" as me. Whatever that means. But it basically excluded the whole world, except the 5 or so men within 10 years of my age at our church. So don't take it personally too quickly.

You've been an atheist, as you mentioned, so I'm sure you've seen the ridicule fundamentalist Christians are exposed to. It looks so crazy to someone on the outside that they can't imagine how stupid you must be to have been so duped and controlled. "Don't they think for themselves at all?" they ask. But in reality it's not very hard to believe it when you're stuck in the middle of it, and with seemingly infallible logic that the leaders claim comes straight from God how can a person argue? It's legalism, something that the people reading the bible always seem to add to it without fail, and it'll get you.

This is an issue near and dear to my heart, and I could rant about it for hours. I hope all my rambling has helped you a little. Good luck, and I hope you'll let us know how it works out! :) I'd be happy to talk to you more about it if you want.

Best wishes,
Samantha

I kind of have the opposite result as you did. I was born catholic and turned atheist. A lot of that bible stuff felt like brainwashing to me and if she's that close minded then maybe she's not the girl for you. She dumped you because you both have different views on some things? That's a sign of bad things to come. There are billions of fish in the sea, don't limit yourself to one that will ignore the fact that you converted for her.