Since i am not much into taking pills except for headaches. What are your happy pills? What i would recommend would be go see another doctor to help you out with what going on. Plus need to have a conversation with your other half and let him know whats going on with you. He needs to support you all he can, in making sure you are getting the help required. He also need to know he can masturbate to relieve some of his tension. Having you watch him might even help. With him knowing you are with him will help to some degree. Just remember getting help you are required is number one. Plus communicate with each other, and i do not mean by yelling at one another. I wish you the best