Ask Dan & Jennifer

Sounds like your husband is not listening to what you are saying. You sound like my wife. She does not enjoy that fact of anything being put into her ass. Have you tried to have anal sex with your husband. Meaning you do him, and see if he enjoys it. If he doesn't then he might learn from it. But then if he does enjoy it then you have something to share with him. Just remember he must listen to what you are saying. Just can not go hog wild on you at anytime.

Good luck

LisaMona: I think if we took a poll, the majority of women feel the same way you do. I have known women who really liked anal sex, but they are definitely the exception. I think most women who engage in anal sex mainly do it for the man's pleasure. The majority of women I know aren't at all comfortable with it. I don't know any woman for whom anal sex is her first choice. The pleasure centers such as the clitoris just aren't there. Many men like it because it is something different and it often provides a greater sense of tightness.

Sexual boundaries are something that every couple has to address in one form or another. Some people decide "This just isn't my cup of tea, but I'm OK with it." You shouldn't do something you find distasteful or degrading. Not everyone is going to enjoy every thing. Or, you may reach the point that you are comfortable with it being an occasional "treat." It's important to remember that there are no "rules" here. This is purely individual preference and choice for every couple. If you do something you resent, you will come to resent him and the relationship.

I do think you need to share with him how you feel, just like you did with us. You're very articulate, and you can definitely express your feelings. Many people start out not liking an activity, then later decide that they really do enjoy it. If you are comfortable enough to continue experimenting, who knows?

Thanks for all your replies.

I keep thinking and thinking about it. I have talk to my husband already about my tabboos and He knows I'm not that into it. But he keeps insisting in the fact of why did I do it before then. Hello I'm your wife if is your fantasy then I will do it just to please you. Now it is to the point of he telling me I'm feel like you are taking something out of the table.
Why is it so difficult for him to just let it go, move on and just do different things.
I don't want to ask him what did he mean by saying "it is something that he will have to deal with himself". Should I take it like some kind of threat?

Offer to buy a dildo and use it on him (anally). Maybe he'd enjoy that. Seriously. If he doesn't take you up on that offer then perhaps he can understand why you don't enjoy it either. If he does take you up on it then you have a new game in your sex life that you can enjoy without any discomfort.

There's nothing about the design of a woman's anus that makes it more pleasurable to be penetrated than with a man's. Why just yours? Why not his, too?

A double-headed dildo would allow you to have some vaginal stimulation while you penetrate him.

Check other postings for "strap-on".

Here's an anal sex video by Ducky Doolittle, sex educator:

YouTube - Ducky delivers an Anal Sex FAQ

Originally posted by: lisamona
Hi there my husband wants to have anal sex, we have did it before not many times, I'm not a big fan of it and I've allowed to happen to please him and to try it. I did enjoy when He stimulates it with his finger until that point but I don't think I want to have him penetrate me, which is what He wants.

First of all, kudos to you for being willing to try something that he wants that you aren't quite so enthusiastic about. A common male complaint is that too many wives aren't flexible in the bedroom. Your willingness to experiment in this area is a strong positive about you. If you've decided that you don't enjoy this then you've given it a try then you've done your part.

After my last comment, though, I'm wondering if this is his way of saying that he doesn't get enough sensation from your vagina. The anus is very tight and evenly so and this is why it feels so great to a man. And sometimes a woman's vagina isn't so tight - whether from childbirth or something else - and this reduces the sensations for the male. THIS can be corrected through doing Kegel exercises. I think there is a video on this website but if you Google "kegel exercises for women" you'll find plenty of information about this.

Even if this isn't the reason, you might make him happy with a tighter vagina and he'll stop pressing you on the anal sex.

Best wishes!