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Dear Guys,
I have recently have been researching online and stumbled upon your site. I have found your information to be quite helpful and have a real appreciation for all that you do. I apologize in advance if this is a long message, but I would like to include some back story for you to understand me better.
I have been married to my wife for 4 wonderful years, and have been together for over 5. We met on Adult Friend Finder and with that in mind, it may astonish you to know that I was a virgin :eek: (yes, a real one) at the time. I was late to the scene, and in my early 30's just had a recent health issue that made me look about my life. Maybe I was horny, but it was probably just scared of being alone, so I took a shot at the online scene. Not being much for bars and clubs, I figured I would try just about anything. Within a few short weeks my future wife and I would be e-mailing and IM'ing each other constantly. We decided to meet for the first time and on the first date I knew she was for me. We had "clicked" although there we a lot things different about us on the sexual side. My wife was an active member of AFF and into several avenues of sex. She has had sex with men and women, participated in BDSM and roleplaying adventures. I admit, that this was extremely erotic vision to a virgin. I was turned on, but sometimes intimidated by her history. But even still, I thought I was going to explode! Even though my wife was skeptical at first about my "status", she soon learned by my emotions that it was true. We continued to date and on a beautiful day my future wife made a man. I truly applaud my wife for being so gentle and understanding. She completes me in so many ways, I can't imagine being without her ever again.
So onto the real story. My wife had an active sexual world at her disposal, one that she was willing to leave behind, but I wanted to more know about her. While we were in full dislosure early in our relationship, we discussed our dreams, fantasies and regrets. One of my wife's fantasies was to have a foursome (MMMF). I being a part of that potential group (MMMF), I was rather aroused at the idea agreed at some point we would discuss it. We then discussed after we were married and, well never really got anywhere. Four years later, and now we have discussed this option again, only this time we are committed to fullfill it.
I have the tough job of learning all this on my own. Yes, she is forthcoming with all kinds of questions and answers, but not all of them can be answered by her. I am actively pursuing this because I know she will regret never having this experience. So the internet comes to the rescue (and your site!). Being a virgin to everything but "vanilla" sex with my wife, I now am looking forward to new sexual experiences. My wife is suggesting a threesome first (MMF). Sounds like a good idea, right? I wouldn't be able to jump into a foursome without "practice" so to speak. Learning what I have so far, we are looking to do a full swap within a single room. She would be the center of attention. I am ready for that.
So I then created a set of questions for here to answer. One is that this "practice" is highly productive for her pleasure. OK, that's fine. I can see the reasoning, but was looking at this as a mutliple experience for her and a little one sided. I hate to say this, but I was getting greedy at this point. My question to her was, 1.) Would you be comfortable with me having sex with another woman?, 2.) If so, then I would (respectfully) request a possible threesome of equal counterparts (FFM or FFFM) at some future time.
Answer 1, Yes. Answer 2, Yes. I win, right? :D Not so fast.
Again, I am curious because I don't know enough about the whole process. I have beaten her up with questions (which I know is good) but makes us somewhat peeved once in a while. My first mistake is mislabeling the act of a threesome or whatever, as "FUCKING". I was corrected. The correct term is "Sex". "We are having SEX with other people," my wife said. She was very defensive, with the comeback of, "So you want to FUCK other people?" Please clarify this distinction or is it blatenly obvious?
Next is Swinging. My wife, even being experienced in such things, didn't label herself a "Swinger". She is somewhat confused with a full swap as well. She was under the impression that full swap was a trade of spouses. Another term she used was Polyamory. Basically, I been teaching her! She may know the tools, but not the book. :)
Anyway, it boils down to clarification (for us to understand together). Am I wrong submitting the idea(s) of my own sexual desires? What would be the actual terminology for a mutliple partner relationship. Do you have sex or fuck? Is it a Polyamory relationship or just Swinging, Swapping etc. Anything else that you might want a word about would be greatly appreciated.
Good news is this has invigorated us and we have had great sex thinking about it. Where we go from here is still in the planning stages, but I would be happy to keep you updated about our journey together!
Thanks for the great site and podcasts.
OverKnight
I have recently have been researching online and stumbled upon your site. I have found your information to be quite helpful and have a real appreciation for all that you do. I apologize in advance if this is a long message, but I would like to include some back story for you to understand me better.
I have been married to my wife for 4 wonderful years, and have been together for over 5. We met on Adult Friend Finder and with that in mind, it may astonish you to know that I was a virgin :eek: (yes, a real one) at the time. I was late to the scene, and in my early 30's just had a recent health issue that made me look about my life. Maybe I was horny, but it was probably just scared of being alone, so I took a shot at the online scene. Not being much for bars and clubs, I figured I would try just about anything. Within a few short weeks my future wife and I would be e-mailing and IM'ing each other constantly. We decided to meet for the first time and on the first date I knew she was for me. We had "clicked" although there we a lot things different about us on the sexual side. My wife was an active member of AFF and into several avenues of sex. She has had sex with men and women, participated in BDSM and roleplaying adventures. I admit, that this was extremely erotic vision to a virgin. I was turned on, but sometimes intimidated by her history. But even still, I thought I was going to explode! Even though my wife was skeptical at first about my "status", she soon learned by my emotions that it was true. We continued to date and on a beautiful day my future wife made a man. I truly applaud my wife for being so gentle and understanding. She completes me in so many ways, I can't imagine being without her ever again.
So onto the real story. My wife had an active sexual world at her disposal, one that she was willing to leave behind, but I wanted to more know about her. While we were in full dislosure early in our relationship, we discussed our dreams, fantasies and regrets. One of my wife's fantasies was to have a foursome (MMMF). I being a part of that potential group (MMMF), I was rather aroused at the idea agreed at some point we would discuss it. We then discussed after we were married and, well never really got anywhere. Four years later, and now we have discussed this option again, only this time we are committed to fullfill it.
I have the tough job of learning all this on my own. Yes, she is forthcoming with all kinds of questions and answers, but not all of them can be answered by her. I am actively pursuing this because I know she will regret never having this experience. So the internet comes to the rescue (and your site!). Being a virgin to everything but "vanilla" sex with my wife, I now am looking forward to new sexual experiences. My wife is suggesting a threesome first (MMF). Sounds like a good idea, right? I wouldn't be able to jump into a foursome without "practice" so to speak. Learning what I have so far, we are looking to do a full swap within a single room. She would be the center of attention. I am ready for that.
So I then created a set of questions for here to answer. One is that this "practice" is highly productive for her pleasure. OK, that's fine. I can see the reasoning, but was looking at this as a mutliple experience for her and a little one sided. I hate to say this, but I was getting greedy at this point. My question to her was, 1.) Would you be comfortable with me having sex with another woman?, 2.) If so, then I would (respectfully) request a possible threesome of equal counterparts (FFM or FFFM) at some future time.
Answer 1, Yes. Answer 2, Yes. I win, right? :D Not so fast.
Again, I am curious because I don't know enough about the whole process. I have beaten her up with questions (which I know is good) but makes us somewhat peeved once in a while. My first mistake is mislabeling the act of a threesome or whatever, as "FUCKING". I was corrected. The correct term is "Sex". "We are having SEX with other people," my wife said. She was very defensive, with the comeback of, "So you want to FUCK other people?" Please clarify this distinction or is it blatenly obvious?
Next is Swinging. My wife, even being experienced in such things, didn't label herself a "Swinger". She is somewhat confused with a full swap as well. She was under the impression that full swap was a trade of spouses. Another term she used was Polyamory. Basically, I been teaching her! She may know the tools, but not the book. :)
Anyway, it boils down to clarification (for us to understand together). Am I wrong submitting the idea(s) of my own sexual desires? What would be the actual terminology for a mutliple partner relationship. Do you have sex or fuck? Is it a Polyamory relationship or just Swinging, Swapping etc. Anything else that you might want a word about would be greatly appreciated.
Good news is this has invigorated us and we have had great sex thinking about it. Where we go from here is still in the planning stages, but I would be happy to keep you updated about our journey together!
Thanks for the great site and podcasts.
OverKnight
