regain lost trust?

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

How do you regain trust? My boyfriend has female friends, and that make me uncomfortable. We have talked, he has promised to get rid of the ones that are bad for our relationship. He has recently gotten rid of a girl who sneekly decided to befriend his brother and get in good with the family. When the brother found out what she was up to, he cut her loose. My boyfriend was sad that he was no longer friends with her because she is "so beautiful", and he knows she is a total whack job.
We have been dating for three years... and live a few hours away. We see each other every single weekend, but I told him to get his head straight and did not see him for two weekends. He promises good things for our future, and even marrige, childern, moving and the possiblitly of counseling.
How do you learn to trust? How do I contiune? My heart is numb.,....

Replies(1)

Beagle

Re: regain lost trust?

2 years ago

Neomic: Welcome to the forums.

You certainly have a lot to think through. From your post, I'm not sure if you are convinced there is romantic involvement with the female friends or if you're concerned that you're being overly suspicious. I suspect you're not sure yourself.

I don't claim to know what is going on with your boyfriend and his friends. I know I'm in the minority among the members here, but I think that opposite-sex friendships that don't include the primary partner are trouble waiting to happen. My experience has been that eventually the person ends up turning to the "friends" for comfort, and it leads to more than friendship. Of course, that wouldn't apply if you have an open relationship.

Before you marry or make a lifetime commitment here, you need to make sure this issue is resolved. This is a conversation you and he need to have. If you aren't able to reach a solution, then either say "This isn't what I want" and move on or be prepared to spend the rest of your life dealing with this issue.

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