Ask Dan & Jennifer

This is where you have to stop blaming others, man up, look in the mirror, and say "What about me is allowing these people to take advantage of me?" My guess is that a lot of the problem is going to be where and how you meet these people. The PUA stuff is well designed to either break a nice girl's heart OR attract sharks into your life. If you use status/money to impress and attract, you are naturally going to bring in women who are wanting money and status.

The vast majority of women are not predators, although they are definitely out there. You need to be taking a more critical look at who you're letting into your life. In order to do that, you're going to have to admit that your current way of doing things isn't working and be willing to change an approach that obviously isn't producing the results you want.

You need to impose a moratorium on dating and take a long hard look at yourself and how you're producing these results.

This is my own side note. Beagle has already stated way better.


To me you need to look at where you are getting these relationships. You need to look and see where they might lead. Don't come off too wealthy or w/e that Beagle already stated because that will attract the wrong people.

Just work on being you, and just be mindful of the people around you. Ask the Important questions when time comes either to them or your self and see if they are truly what you want in someone.

I think that I have made the mistake of thinking that men and women were equal and that anything was possible. That's probably where I went wrong and it's probably as to why I keep getting the results that I keep getting.

I think that I am going to have to drop that idea and bring back the old theories about men being superior to women. This is an idea and thought that I have been fighting against along with the theories that women are superior to men.

Historically I have believed that both concepts were wrong and that what really mattered was things like how two people really felt about each other, were willing to work together and treat each other with things like love, courtesy, and respect, and of course were willing to do whatever it took to bring back the concept of romance and good sex in the relationship.

I thought that both men and women were equals and that is probably where I went wrong. I also thought that they should be honest with one another no matter what and that the relationship should be based upon doing what was right and just.

Originally posted by: rdonovan1

I also thought that they should be honest with one another no matter what and that the relationship should be based upon doing what was right and just.

To me this is true, its supposed to be that way in the first place.

The only reason things are going awry is because the people (if I remember correctly) you have been finding are wrong for you.

The reason why you are having problems is I think because you are having an issue with communication.

I would suggest reading But What Do You Mean? by Deborah Tannen.
Wow, I made it even easier. I found a HTML version on the Internet. But What Do You Mean
I had to read this for my College Writing 1 class. I found it to be very true,(I already knew this in the first place) and it seems like you may be having this problem.

It should only take a few minutes to read, give it a shot.

I think that is good and I will definitely check out that book. I have a few other books that she has written relating to the subject. I however have attempted to go far beyond that into the realm of NLP and private investigating.

I am begining to believe that the issue has more to do with the way that people tend to think and act and the breakdown of societies morals and values.

One of the things that I have noticed and that I tend to disagree with is that men tend to treat women like they are sex objects and women tend to treat men like they are success objects. I disagree with that line of thinking entirely.

I'm trying to look into the issue more right now, but from what I have noticed there sure are a lot of liars, cheats and thieves out there that will not hesitate to use romance and sex as a way of making money and from what I am seeing it is getting way out of hand.

I've tried one website in an attempt to meet women and more often than not instead of talking to real women I get either bots or the women are trying to run some sort of scam on the guys by trying to get them to sign up on porn sites or to get them to pay a fee to meet them. That to me reaks of a scam as you shouldn't have to pay to meet someone you really like unless there is travel costs involved.

Travel costs are of course unavoidable. If they live near you though there should be no reason for the two to be able to meet at a local place like McDonald's or some other neutral place.

rdonovan1:

The services you mention are all scams. Girls have no trouble finding someone to talk sexy too. Those are frankly a waste of your money.

Yes, there are tons of people willing to take your money. W.C. Fields once said "It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money." I once took a professional wrestling class just for kicks and to get into shape. I learned that in the early days when wrestlers were with carnivals, the carnies would target a gullible person with a chalk mark on his shoulder. Hence, the rise of the term "easy mark." I'm sorry to be blunt with you, but anyone who pays money to meet women is being ripped off. The ugliest girl on the planet can get a man faster than Mr. Universe can get a woman. That's just the way our society works.

Originally posted by: Beagle
rdonovan1:

The services you mention are all scams. Girls have no trouble finding someone to talk sexy too. Those are frankly a waste of your money.

Yes, there are tons of people willing to take your money. W.C. Fields once said "It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money." I once took a professional wrestling class just for kicks and to get into shape. I learned that in the early days when wrestlers were with carnivals, the carnies would target a gullible person with a chalk mark on his shoulder. Hence, the rise of the term "easy mark." I'm sorry to be blunt with you, but anyone who pays money to meet women is being ripped off. The ugliest girl on the planet can get a man faster than Mr. Universe can get a woman. That's just the way our society works.

Your right about that and that is why I don't pay for any of the online services at all. I have only paid for one site and it is a lifetime membership. I paid that several years ago because it was a one time lifetime membership fee.

When it comes to online stuff I am playing with Tagged, Myspace, and the site that I paid the lifetime fee to several years ago.

For the most part I'm just goofing around on those sites just to see what kinds of responses that I will get but under no circumstance am I going to pay any kind of money to any woman especially those that tell me that they want me to go to some adult website for verification or to book them for any reason.

The only way that I am going to even bother to pay any money is if I feel that I have met someone real and I believe that I have enough cause to justify helping them to meet me in person.

Outside of that I am working on my game by reading a lot of books relating to dating, mating, and relating and when I can I am trying to practice what I have been learning from people like Ross and Mystery out in the real world.

Just a little bit ago I was at Walgreens getting my cigarettes and Monster when I started to play with one of the girls there. I have met her in person and she told me before that she liked to watch horror movies and because of one of the job sites that I work at as a security officer I started to use that in my game. It got her laughing which was good.

The site that I work at is an old Mental Hospital and it is supposed to be haunted. Because of halloween I asked her what she did for halloween. She said not much at all. From that I started to playfully accuse her that the ghosts said otherwise and that they said she was a troublemaker and that is why they are there. They can't sleep because she makes too much noise that she wakes the dead. She got a big kick out that and started to laugh at it.

I've also known one girl that lived next door to me that said that she did not want a relationship or sex at all. She was basically a professional con artist, but I believe that had I been better with my game and the romantic patterning language tactics that I learned from Ross I could have gotten her.

I'm of the mindset that if a woman wants money from me then I should be in a real romantic relationship with her and I should be having sex with her. Basically it's the rule of reciprocity that Robert Cialdini talks about in his book called 'Influence', That's good, but I am not content with that and that is why I am working on the patterning techniques of Dr. Milton Erickson and Dr. Richard Bandler.

I can't say that I have all of the answers but I am working on it all. Maybe somewhere along the line I will also be able to figure out what I did right and wrong with a girl that I once knew and loved in 1987. I have some theories, but at the moment I just can't prove them as of yet.

I'm also very aware that the better looking a girl is then the more of an attitude she tends to get and the more insecure she is also about herself. That's where Mystery's stuff tends to come in nice and handy. Ross however found out that if you don't access a girls emotions while bypassing her logic then you will not get anywhere with her due to the friend zone and as to how women tend to think.

I was also introduced to the concept and importance of romance to women and that is why I am trying to develop myself into being more of the type of guy that they read about in romance novels.