Seven year itch... ready to add another girl

in Sex and Intimacy » Swingers and Threesomes • 3 years ago

My husband and I have been married seven years, together for 9 and are the typical family with 3 kids and a very happy marriage. We know everything about each other and communication is our strongest asset. However, while we can have great sex, for some time I have been wanting to bring in another woman. Of course he really loves the thought of this and is very turned on by it. Lately this is all his "dirty talk" is about, which is great because it turns us both on.... But whenever we start to seriously consider a threesome he always gets cold feet! Needless to say I am becoming frustrated and even resentful when he talks about it because I feel like he is teasing me with candy I'll never taste! He knows I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship but he is playing around with something I truly do desire and I don't want to become bitter. I have only been with one other guy before we were married and never went all the way. I am madly in love with my husband but to me sex is just sex and in all honesty I would love to experience not just other women but other men as well.... That will NEVER happen I know, and that's ok, but how to I get him to be more comfortable with bringing another girl into his bed? Or how do I forget about these desires? I have tried to be patient but every time I try to ignore these desires they just come back with a vengeance! I know now that it isn't just a fantasy and I'm worried that if it doesn't happen my resentment will hurt our marriage, but if it does then his jealousy and fear could also destroy our marriage. What is your advice?

Replies(2)

k. in cle..

Never say never...

3 years ago

Speaking from my personal experience, 3somes can be difficult, especially fmf. Why? Because inevitably someone always feels left out. Not to say that many people don't have great fun in threesomes, but that is my experience. This may also be kind of intimidating to him, you know? He may be wondering if you're going to have more feelings for this woman than him. I'm not trying to recruit anyone to be swingers, because believe me, it is not for everyone. But, in your case it might be easier. If there were another couple, both of you should feel more secure in knowing the other wouldn't leave for the new partner. Couples have more vested in their lives than a single person. Also, yes, it is every guy's fantasy, but I think when it comes down to it, many men fear they will not be able to please two women at once, another reason why a couple may be easier.
AS far as forgetting your desires, that's not going to happen on command. When someone has a fantasy or sexual urge, it's not going to go away on its own. Sometimes as we go through more things our tastes and preferences change, but we can't will them to.
Here's a video from Dan and Jennifer on threesomes:

And here's one on swinging:

As in all of these issues, communication is the key. It can be hard to talk about it, but you need to find out why he's not going through with it. And you need to communicate to him that you're begining to resent his unwillingness to allow you to explore this major fantasy of yours.

rick181au

3/somes.

3 years ago

Originally posted by: melissa535
My husband and I have been married seven years, together for 9 and are the typical family with 3 kids and a very happy marriage. We know everything about each other and communication is our strongest asset. However, while we can have great sex, for some time I have been wanting to bring in another woman. Of course he really loves the thought of this and is very turned on by it. Lately this is all his "dirty talk" is about, which is great because it turns us both on.... But whenever we start to seriously consider a threesome he always gets cold feet! Needless to say I am becoming frustrated and even resentful when he talks about it because I feel like he is teasing me with candy I'll never taste! He knows I would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship but he is playing around with something I truly do desire and I don't want to become bitter. I have only been with one other guy before we were married and never went all the way. I am madly in love with my husband but to me sex is just sex and in all honesty I would love to experience not just other women but other men as well.... That will NEVER happen I know, and that's ok, but how to I get him to be more comfortable with bringing another girl into his bed? Or how do I forget about these desires? I have tried to be patient but every time I try to ignore these desires they just come back with a vengeance! I know now that it isn't just a fantasy and I'm worried that if it doesn't happen my resentment will hurt our marriage, but if it does then his jealousy and fear could also destroy our marriage. What is your advice?

That is rather an unusual outlook coming from a woman, it’s usually the guy that is trying to talk the woman into a threesome “especially a F M F one”, if you are really serious about this “and I think you are” and your husband is not willing to come to the party so to speak have you thought of making contact with a woman through a site on the net that might be willing to help you seduce your husband into the lifestyle? I know it is usually a guy thing but it could be worth a try!

Have you been with a woman before?

What was your situation sexually before you met your husband and did he know of any of your sexual activities before you met him?

The wife and I were married 12 years and had two children before we got into the swinging, swapping and threesome scene, we started going together back in the 60’s when we were 17 just before we turned 18, it was her first time with another guy as I had taken her cherry when she was 19. First off she went with a friend of ours then we got right into the swinging and swapping and finished off having M F M threesomes, we were in the scene for 25 + years and have now been married 45 years.

Just be carfule what you ask for as sometimes when you get it it’s not what you wonted in the long run, I know I was biting my tongue a few times when I seen just how well my wife took to it but once the step has been taken you cannot take it back!

Let us know how you get on.
:rolleyes:

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