Lots of things can contribute to lost sexual drive, so see if she is willing to have her hormones tested. Low testosterone is common in women and obviously, our hormones change a lot over time.
She could be depressed or just feeling disconnected from you. It may be that she no longer feels sexy to you in the way she once did. We women lose our drive if we don't "feel" like we are sexy. As my husband says, it's all about how we feel about ourselves. If she is not feeling good about her self in some way, either physically if she has gained weight or thinks she is getting old - that can be a major turn off for her. Some women who swing end up feeling emotionally disconnected from their partner because they are no longer the center of their partners sexual attention. The result is that she may feel like she is not sexy enough for you to love her and want her alone. She can still love you and want you to be happy, but have lost interest in the sexual side of things because she perceives you as not needing her sexually. Maybe if you took a break from swinging and let her see how much you need and want her, and how sexy she is to you. But the bottom line is that there are undoubtedly some feelings she is not expressing, maybe she doesn't even have ful awareness of them herself. Take the time to focus on her and find out what is going on inside her, make her feel special to you again. Then re-examine the swinging, maybe if you are to continue she will have to still feel like she is the center of your sexual world.
Bottom line is that a sudden and complete change does signal something being very wrong - either physically or emotionally. Once you've ruled out the physical, then focus on her emotions. Help her feel how important her feelings are to you.
It sounds like she really is the center of your sexual world, but it may be possible she has lost touch with that. We women like to feel special... and that we can make our man wild for us. If she isn't feeling those things, perhaps thats whats underneath. But any unexpressed emotions (have her parents died? Children left home?) can do the same thing. Get inside her emotions, and help her get them out.
Let me know how it goes.
