Ask Dan & Jennifer

Your going to have to tell her how you feel about this. It shouldn't be like this this far in the relationship. Sit down with her in person and talk about what she does and how it makes you feel.

She should also explain why she is so distant with you. Obviously something is amiss. If you don't see change or shes not understanding then shes not for you. There are many other girls out there that would treat you 10x better.

It's very simple to get there as well just treat a girl with respect and kindness. I mean after like my 3rd-4th date me and my girlfriend always sat next to each other with arms locked or holding hands.

Hopefully this helps.

Your post already shows that you have some doubt in your relationship. That alone shows that the relationship isn't going smoothly. You're clinging onto somebody who doesn't share the same feelings for you as you have for her. The longer you drag this out, the more painful it will be for you.

Okay... so basically today I tried to have a nice talk with her... but then she told me that she was "trying" to make it work but couldn't. I had told her that she wasn't even trying by completly avoiding even touching me. We starting to talk just little more until the point where I couldn't take it anymore. Thats when I just said to her "Well I guess I just can't make you happy" and then walked off. I didn't speak for her for the rest of the day. But on this seperate website we usually both go to, she left me a PM asking me for forgiveness. I'm not sure if she even wants to get back with me because she said "Can we talk, at least as friends" but then at the end of the message she said "You don't know what you will miss until its gone". I don't even know if she wants to get back together. I is unbelievably hard to let her go, and I do really want to be with her but I just can't go back unless she doesn't just pretend to love me, and actually show her affection towards me. I just don't want to be alone all over again.

Alright, my solution would be to at least go and talk to her in person. See what she has to say. She might be really hurt and actually feel something now. Then again she might now. It's at least better to close up wounds rather than to burn the bridges that are there.

If you can't have the decency to at least be friends, then the next girl might not see you as good as a person. (if you do actually end it after the next time you see her).

So at least make an attempt to see what she has to say. Say what you have to say and leave on a good note, or stay to gather and work for a better future.

She might change and show affection you never know. (this again her realizing she does care) talk to her and see what happens. Things might change for the better, the worst is your out a girlfriend. But there are many more.

Hopefully this helps. It might not be clear so just ask if its not.

Alright... today I had a talk with her, and we pretty much made up and everything. And she started showing a small bit of affection again. But i'm almost certain that this "Mixed Emotion" thing will happen again in the future. I told her that everyone will have doubts about anything, even relationships. Either way, I don't think she will take my advice... she does sometimes, but not when it comes to our relationship.

See how things go for awhile. If they don't seem to improve over a month or so I would give up by then.

It sometimes takes time.

Been around 4 months since I posted here, and I read what I had said in my first post. Things are actually the same as they we're then, yet i'm still together with her. I had a talk with her a few days ago saying "Either we have to make it work or not have it work at all". She wants me to give her space... alot. I'm fine with giving her space... but she asks for space ALL the time, and when she does ask for space it seems to go a bit far. She also thinks the smallest things are "taking it too far" or "going too fast" even though we've been dating for over a year -.-. My friends never really approve of my relationship because every time we make up, it ends up exactly the same as it was before. Another thing is... her parents. Her step father just plain doesn't like me, even though I've given both of her parents the upmost respect. I think she gets most of her ideas from her parents. One day she told me "Its wrong for a girlfriend and boyfriend to live together". I thought that was the most ridiculously stupid thing I have ever heard her say about relationships. And my relationship works so oddly. Normally its the girl asking for the guy to cuddle and hold etc. But in my case, its me asking for that stuff. I (still) feel as if we are just friends and do very little relationship type things. If I had ever gotten another girlfriend, it would feel awkward as crap to me if the girl asked to cuddle, because there is no way I am used to anything of that matter. I get excited whenever my girlfriend even simply grabs my arm. Another thing I hate about this is... She doesn't like Making out... better yet even kissing. She says she wants one kiss every other day. I don't have much options when it comes to this relationship and I am getting sick of this constant mess.

I'm gonna suggest you move on. I looked at the date when you first posted this and if there's still no change even now, then it's pretty obvious she is not interested. By being with her, you're chasing after a meaningless goal. From the sounds of it, it seems like she feels indifferent about the whole situation and she probably won't feel much (if any) pain at all if you two aren't together anymore. Go find someone you're going to be comfortable with. You've been dragging dead weight with you long enough.

Alright, I have to agree you gave her enough time and it seems like she just doesn't get it. I mean she might be a really timid girl and all but she cant be like this for ever.

If your not happy you seriously need to move on. You just cant live your life like this. If your not happy with the relationship what is it then? To me its friends with minimal kissing. I'm sorry to condemn your relationship I rarely tell people to break up. But you have it 4 MONTHS to improve and nothing happened. You gave it your best shot I highly suggest you move on unless you want your life like this in the future.

There are many girls out there probably just as good as her that will show a ton more affection. I thank god right now that my girlfriend isn't like that (no offense) because that would be completely redicilious if you ask me.

Tell her its just that you can't live with the little affection she has for you. That you gave her four months to improve her self, and for just being in for over a year in this relationship something more should have happened already. My only question is how old are you both?

I am 18, she is 17. I feel she's even more immature than her age is.

Ok, any response to my statement.

I mean I seriously think you should move on. Do you really want to live the rest of your life that way? I think she needs to grow up and experience more things. Sorry to be so offensive.

Originally posted by: Xero
Ok, any response to my statement.

I mean I seriously think you should move on. Do you really want to live the rest of your life that way? I think she needs to grow up and experience more things. Sorry to be so offensive.

No need to apologize, my friends say the same things. I just never really listened to them because of the Very rare good moments that my girlfriend and I have which reset my thoughts about her for a short period of time.

Are you going to do something about your current relationship?

I need to speak with her... tell her the things you've said. It is really unfortunate to have your girlfriend think affection is bad in a relationship and that REALLY is a problem. I need to tell her that either I receive affection from her... or affection from someone else (someday)

Originally posted by: That Guy
Been around 4 months since I posted here, and I read what I had said in my first post. Things are actually the same as they we're then, yet i'm still together with her. I had a talk with her a few days ago saying "Either we have to make it work or not have it work at all". She wants me to give her space... alot. I'm fine with giving her space... but she asks for space ALL the time, and when she does ask for space it seems to go a bit far. She also thinks the smallest things are "taking it too far" or "going too fast" even though we've been dating for over a year -.-. My friends never really approve of my relationship because every time we make up, it ends up exactly the same as it was before. Another thing is... her parents. Her step father just plain doesn't like me, even though I've given both of her parents the upmost respect. I think she gets most of her ideas from her parents. One day she told me "Its wrong for a girlfriend and boyfriend to live together". I thought that was the most ridiculously stupid thing I have ever heard her say about relationships. And my relationship works so oddly. Normally its the girl asking for the guy to cuddle and hold etc. But in my case, its me asking for that stuff. I (still) feel as if we are just friends and do very little relationship type things. If I had ever gotten another girlfriend, it would feel awkward as crap to me if the girl asked to cuddle, because there is no way I am used to anything of that matter. I get excited whenever my girlfriend even simply grabs my arm. Another thing I hate about this is... She doesn't like Making out... better yet even kissing. She says she wants one kiss every other day. I don't have much options when it comes to this relationship and I am getting sick of this constant mess.

Dude.....

its very sad to hear your story....i can only imagine whats your going trough between this Love and hates collide things.
Now please listen to me......i know how much u love her, but u have to make decision sooner or latter.....and you must acknowledge that most men usig his brain rather than his heart in the relationship, opposite the the woman....so use ur common sense to solve this issue,

Leaving her is bad for your heart, but healthy for your body and mind....remember, that the longer you wait to separate with her.....the longer time you will need to forger her.....

so doing it now....while u still can and able too,

Regrds