Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

in Singles and Dating » Dating Tips and Advice • 1 years ago

I met this girl a few Fridays ago in January (when school just started, I'm in college by the way haha). Let's call her Alice. She's very pretty and really nice to talk too. She is older than me, but it doesn't seem to bother her or me. We both knew who each other was (in passing). We were both drinking that day and we had such a good time. I got Alice's number when we talked and hung out with her friends past midnight. We like the same type of TV shows, films and we can have really good talks.

We are now Facebook and Twitter friends. She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend of three years just before school started during the conservation that Friday.

That next week, I text her about going out with a few friends. She agreed, but I saw a girl that I had a crush on for a really long time and ditched Alice. It was the wrong thing to do. Alice decided to leave back to her dorm with her friends and supposedly she was really mad at me (at least that's what my friends tells me).

I did text Alice that Monday, apologizing about ditching her. That same day I get one of all the long and upbeat replies I usually get from her. She tell us it is okay.

I texted her about going to the basketball game that weekend. But I had plans, but she invited me to watch a movie with a few friends (it turned out to be her roommate and her roommate's boyfriend). I agree and again it seems like we both have a good time.

Then I texted her about getting coffee a few days after. She agrees and we talked for about an hour about a variety of things. It always seems like I always make her laugh and it seems like she enjoys talking to me.

We texted and talk through Facebook chat a lot. Sometimes we would get my inbox would be filled with message from her.

I like her a lot, and I want to know if I should ask her out. What do you guys think?

Replies(8)

Beagle

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

Of course. If you're interested, then I don't see a reason not to ask her out. One thing I did pick up in your post is that you're not really sure what you want at this time. And that's not a problem, as long as you're up front with her. If you want to see her again, why not ask her out?

thepianis..

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

It seems like all of my friends are telling me I should. Even some of me and Annie's mutual friends are telling me I should and they say that she is showing signs of liking me.

When we did go for coffee, it went really well. And she seems to laugh a lot at my jokes and seems to smile at me a lot and we have really nice talks (she always seems to talk to me a lot, which I don't mind).

She just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years a month ago. Is that too soon for Annie to date?

Is asking her to hang out with friends or coffee again a good idea? Should I text or ask her in person if I bump into her?

So far the positives outweigh the negatives.

Beagle

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

I don't like texting to ask people out. It's fine when you're dating, but girls respect confidence more than anything else. It can show lack of confidence to use a text early on. I would at least call.

thepianis..

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

Thanks for your advice, but is it too early for me to ask her on a date? It is March, and she broke up with her boyfriend of three years three months ago. But I am very happy that we share similar interests (Woody Allen films, The Office). And she seems happy to talk to me.

Since we are both in college students, I don't have car and a lot of money. I don't know any idea where to take her.

And do you have any suggestions or tips on becoming more confident? I think I'm over analytical about the whole thing. I never done this before and I'm really nervous.

When I asked her to get coffee, I texted her. I feel that you're right-I do need to ask her out in person. I'm just afraid of rejection.

Beagle

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

Yes. The best method in existence for dealing is described in a very inexpensive paperback book. Amazon.com: Intimate Connections (9780451148452): David D. Burns: Books Ultimately, rejection is always going to be a possibility. If you can't face rejection, you won't be able to date. For a guy, dating without rejection is like saying "I want to ride a horse, but I want you to promise me I'll never be thrown." It just doesn't work that way. What you find is that you can survive being told "no."

She is definitely putting out signs that she is interested. The money thing is an excuse. My first date with my girlfriend was a hike in a state park. Cost-2 diet cokes. You're avoiding things.

The books teaches cognitive therapy techniques for overcoming fear of rejection. (I have no financial involvement with the author or the seller.) I'm a cognitive therapist, and I use it all the time with clients. Get the book and let me know if you have any questions.

thepianis..

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

Thanks! I'll let you know how it goes!

thepianis..

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

Do you have any tips for me when it comes to being overly anxious and too nervous to ask her?

Beagle

Re: Should I ask her out? Advice is helpful!

1 years ago

Absolutely. Feel the anxiety and do it anyway. We tend to think everyone can tell we're scared, but they can't. It's like jumping off the high dive. You're going to be scared the first few times. The only solution is to do what a teacher at my son's school says: "SOmetimes you just got to do it scared."