Ask Dan & Jennifer

Validated: First of all, welcome to the forums. You're asking a great question. I bet there are a lot of readers in the same situation.

It sounds like he and his girlfriend are, for all practical purposes, married. I'm a counselor by trade and I wish I had a dollar for every woman who's told me "He says he's going to leave her." My advice to you is to at least break it off with him and tell him he can contact you when he's not in a relationship.

Now, is where I have to play the heavy. He's been deceiving you, and presumably her, for two years. Do you really want to merge your life with someone who engages in this kind of deception? If he cheated with you, he'll probably cheat on you if the opportunity arises. My advice is to take a line from the old country western song by Michelle Wright and "Leave that fool alone." This guy is going to be nothing but heartache for some woman. There's no reason for it to be you.



I met somebody the other night
Started thinking he was Mr. Right..wrong
I might have never known
If a friend hadn't brought it to my attention
He's got a wife he forgot to mention
Girl, leave that fool alone

once a cheat, always a cheat

"and tell him he can contact you when he's not in a relationship."

no way! dont give him any hope! you're worth so much more, gosh! i bet if you went to a bar, even if you didn't notice it, there are probably like ten guys going 'man shes amazing' but often when we have been f**ked over by guys we think lesser of ourselves and dont have the confidence to find someone decent.

Originally posted by: validated
i have been dating this guy for 2yrs but he's living with another women for 8yrs but i just found this out and he wants to be with me so he say in about 2weeks should he have left when i found out or should i wait on him or move on he says that he loves me :confused:

And find out her fate.

Being a cheater myself, I would be wary of his deceipt.
commitment, faithfullness and love can all be different things to different people.

You need to ask do you love him enough to take the chance ?
You also need to ask how bad will you hurt if he cheats on you ?

I know that if my mrs ever forgives me for what horrors i have done i will be happy.
I also know that monogamy for me will be a challenge, but one I am willing to take for my family.

the path ahead is rocky. sex can be its own animal and can be hard to tame. expecially if he is good at it.