Was it really cheating?

in Love and Relationships » Cheating, Infidelity, and Affairs • 2 years ago

Okay, so, I've had a boyfriend for over a year and I love him dearly. However, a week ago, I "slept with" (literally, not as in "had sex with") a guy who's just my friend. However, he and I both like each other. We had been staying up for the night, studying in my room, when we got tired and decided to take a nap. During the "nap", we got really close and basically ended up spooning. Then, at some point, I ended up falling asleep, only to wake up with him stroking my face and having his hands kind of roaming. Not roaming inappropriately, but just around my face, arms, stomach, etc. I woke up and we talked for a bit, but didn't mention the touchiness. We went back to studying but I ended up going to sleep for another two hours and waking up to the same thing happening again. We never had sex, and I'm almost 100% positive that he didn't even kiss me while I was asleep. We've both gone home for the summe and I most likely won't see him until the fall. My questions are: Was that really cheating? I kind of consider it so, but the guilt occasionally gets to me. Also, should I tell my boyfriend about it if he were to ask?? Thanks in advance for your help :)

Replies(5)

scarbowl

Re: Was it really cheating?

2 years ago

I wouldn't consider that cheating. And I probably wouldn't mention it to my partner. But I wouldn't do it again, either.

Your friend was being inappropriate with you and probably cannot be trusted. You might confront him about this.

It's probably a good sign that you are worrying about this. You have a conscience.

Xero

Re: Was it really cheating?

2 years ago

I agree, it wasn't cheating but shouldn't happen again.

If your boyfriend where to find out he probably would not be very happy.

Beagle

Re: Was it really cheating?

2 years ago

Anything you wouldn't tell the other person you had done is cheating.

jo_danjenn

Re: Was it really cheating?

2 years ago

Well, i'm thinking how would i feel if i were your boyfriend...
I guess i wouldn't like that much to know about it, but i would like it even lesser if i founded it out trough someone else's mouth. I think before things start spreding around and being distorted, u should really tell your bf. i dont know him but he may be a bit sad, or not, he may be angry, or not, he may don't even care about it, depends on the person. i guess the best thing u have to do is tell him.

i'm not quite sure if i wouldn't consider it cheating, for me it would be the begining of an untrustable releationship and it would make me really really sad and disapointed about the touches. i guess the definition of cheating is different to each person. what is cheating for me, may not be cheating for you. as its been said before, it may not be cheating but definatly it shall not happen again

theresa_d..

yes this is cheating

2 years ago

cheating is not solely reserved for sex only.it can entail any betrayal,broken confidence or dishonesty.if you feel you cannot tell him then you cheated.sometimes it is a matter of protecting yourself from the slightest appearance of impropriety in order to protect your primary relationship.think about how you would feel if you walked in on your man and another woman in the same exact situation.you would be hurt and probably not believe him that it was innocent.depending on how far in life you see the both of you being together will dictate if you should tell him.do not let a lot of time pass before telling him what has happenned since later it will be harder to make it look innocent if you couldnt even tell him for so long a period of time