Ask Dan & Jennifer

Originally posted by: Ryan in Fort Myers
I have fantasies of watching my girlfriend tease other guys, usually thoughts of watching her jacking a guy off while I watch and seeing if the excitement would make her wanna do more with him. Usually I imagine that he would have a really big cock, like a male stripper or something...When shes jacking me off, I have extreme fantasies about it and it makes me more excited, but I havent told her anything about this yet. A few questions: 1. Is this an acceptable thought? 2. Would my girl/any girl ever do that for her boyfriend? 3. What are the chances that she would do more with him once she started? 4. What would her likely reaction be if I told her about these thoughts?

Thanks in advance!

is this a fantasy or something you want to do?i think it would be best to start with question 4[ask her].question 3[ask her].question 2[yes],question1[yes]...I am also submissive and would do anything for my master.we have a bdsm relationship[recently developed].Are you and her wanting a swinging life style?These types of relationships need security and love to make them work...My first experience was when my husband asked me to jack off his friend while being in a hot tub,sence he had an erection.The second night it led to more.while sucking off my husband he suggested that his friend had the perfect size for my ass[husband is big].after some lubing,kissing,etc he f**ked me in the ass.when my husband invites him over i know what i'm in for.you can read some of my threads and see where we have gone.i am not like all women.be careful

Originally posted by: Ryan in Fort Myers
When shes jacking me off, I have extreme fantasies about it and it makes me more excited, but I havent told her anything about this yet. A few questions: 1. Is this an acceptable thought?

Yes it's most definately an acceptable thought. People tend to have a voyeuristic nature and enjoy watching sex... even when it's someone else with their mate.

Originally posted by: Ryan in Fort Myers
2. Would my girl/any girl ever do that for her boyfriend?

It depends on the girl. Some people enjoy open relationships while others prefer a monogamous relationships. You would just have to have an open conversation with her and let her know this is a fantasy of yours. You might want to ask her about her fantasies first... tell her it's just talk and fantasies and you will not get upset whatever she says... you may be surprised. She may say she wants two guys.... then you can tell her yours. It's always a good idea to ask her about her fantasies first, so you don't some off too eager.

Originally posted by: Ryan in Fort Myers
3. What are the chances that she would do more with him once she started?

Again, this depends on the girl. People who have good, strong relationships that they open up have less to worry about... the love is with the lovers and the sex is open. That would be something you would both have to remember.. it's just sex, no feelings.

Originally posted by: Ryan in Fort Myers
4. What would her likely reaction be if I told her about these thoughts?

Again, this is a varied response depending on who is being asked. She may totally be into it, or she may be turned off by it. But if you keep it safe and tell her it's just you two talking about your fantasies, and that it's just a fantasy... it will come off better to most girls. Then you can gauge her response and if she seems into it you can say, "You wanna try it sometime?" or something... just be easy and relaxed and not too excited. :)

Originally posted by: Ryan in Fort Myers
I have fantasies of watching my girlfriend tease other guys, usually thoughts of watching her jacking a guy off while I watch and seeing if the excitement would make her wanna do more with him. Usually I imagine that he would have a really big cock, like a male stripper or something...When shes jacking me off, I have extreme fantasies about it and it makes me more excited, but I havent told her anything about this yet. A few questions: 1. Is this an acceptable thought? 2. Would my girl/any girl ever do that for her boyfriend? 3. What are the chances that she would do more with him once she started? 4. What would her likely reaction be if I told her about these thoughts?

Thanks in advance!

First off I want to echo what others have said, this is a very normal sort of fantasy to have, it's voyeuristic ( as K said ) and is totally normal. You didn't mention whether you want to participate with others while she is doing this, or if you want to stay faithful to her while she does this. Would any girl ever do that for her boyfriend? Possibly, or possibly she'd just do it for herself knowing that you were okay with it. Would YOUR girlfriend do it? You'll have to ask her to find out. What are the chances that she would do more with some guy once the lid is opened, that depends on her, it also depends on you two talking explicitly about what you want out of the relationship and what the rules are, I mean having seen her with another guy are you going to be okay with her continuing? Is it something that you always share together or is she free to be sexual with whomever whether you're there or not? How comfortable are you with the idea that she may not always use protection with other guys? It's a risk you have to discuss. What will be her reaction if you share these things with her? The only person who knows the answer is her, again as K said, open the discussion with just wanting to talk about fantasies, make SURE she is totally reassured that no matter WHAT the fantasy is, you're asking to know because you care about her and want to know all of her, even if they are things she says she just wants to stay as fantasies now. She may confide that she has fantasized about more than one guy, but that that's all she ever wants it to be. Share that youv'e had that fantasy too, tell her what you hope for, but let it go for now. I promise that if she feels pressured into it, she'll either do it but resent it later or she'll resent you for pressuring her and not respecting her. We've seen this happen before with some of our friends who are swingers, the guy pressures his wife into trying swinging and she goes along because she feels like she "has to", but she really doesn't like it and doesn't want to be there. The relationships like this don't last, and I'll tell you know our circle of friends really have a consensus that it's a form of abuse. I know that that's harsh language, but "NO MEANS NO".

If you have a heart to heart and after say 3 to 6 months you haven't heard anything, you could possibly, in a very reassuring tone say something like "Wow I REALLY loved that you shared that fantasy with me awhile ago, I know you said you wanted it to remain a fantasy, {{here's the important part}} I just wanted to reassure you it really is okay with me if you want to ever pursue it as more." Then drop it, after 3 to 6 months if she still hasn't said anything, I think you need to let it go. Of course if she shares the fantasy with you there is nothing that is stopping you from buying "toys" and introducing that as a way to allow her to explore those fantasies more, but ONLY if she wants to.

One thing you will absolutely have to know, she will pick the guy, not you. It's her body and her desires in this that are going to matter, and if you really want this to ever be a reality, you're going to have to let go of parts of the fantasy to allow HER to feel comfortable letting her guard down. IF she does explore it, does begin to feel comfortable, does like it and continues THEN maybe you can ask her or mention something about the "ideal" guy you'd love to see her with or some such.... But here again as I always say, it's ALL about the communication! Go talk and
"GO COMMUNICATION"
Hugs,
Rachael
ps, DO let us know how things go okay? LOTS of luck!

Me and my wife tell stories during sex. She would tell me to give her a females name that we knew, that I wanted to see her with. The stories never included me being with the other female. Threesomes with other females soon started. Our stories started off with females and after about six months we started telling stories about other men that I or she wanted in the story. After about a year, we had a mfm threesome. Oh My Gosh. I had never been so turned on in my life. We have did this several more tines. Its just as hot as the first time. You have to communicate after each time. Never break the rules that you both have agreed on.

Do boys actually think about such things? I tease all the time but thats it. My bf understands thats just who i am n wat i do n has always been.
I never considered going further cuz i know he will kill me for sure.
you got so much advise above from more experanced ppl than me but for wats it worth here is my two cents:
-if your gf really really loved you n you made if clear how important it is to u, she would try and do at least some fo wat u ask of her. ( on the other hand if u really eally loved her you wont ask her to do somthin she dont wantta.)
-if she did somthin is their a possibility you might feel different seeing her actually doing somthin with another boy? i knows i would think tat possibility somthin would change for the worse n our relationship. (if cant be taken back).

in enyevent if this is like number one on you mind you two should at least talk it over . i would definitely wantta know how my bf felt. i learned long time ago to keep a honest relationship is best.
sorry i cant help more.
good luck
Willow