Ask Dan & Jennifer

First off, my prayers for your girlfriend, Rape is a very hard thing to get over.... very traumatic as well as unforgettable.... I am a "PRO CHOICE" person so I'm all for what the woman decides (my wife PRO-LIFE) You both need to decide what to do, as for myself I feel that pregnancices are a blessing yet wiith some evil and devilish deeds by others this can seem unpleasing..... You both need to help each other through this... it's going to help bond you both together as well.... ALLOW her to tell you her feelings it may TAKE A LONG TIME!!!! But no matter what it's HER CHOICE and you should be supportive with her choice... it wasn't her choice due to the actions of another but it will be her choice when it comes to what happens in the future... I wish you both the best!

This is not my story, it is the story of my mother.

When my mother was in her 20s she was raped. It was a horrible experience that she says to this very day sometimes haunts her. Her husband at the time was very insensitive to what had happened and instead of being there for her became very aloof. I personally think he may not of known what to say or how to help her and so became rather distant. What ended up happening is my mother got the support she needed from friends, including her future husband (my father).

He was there for her and very patient. Mainly he offered her an escape by doing fun things with her, helping to make her feel like a beautiful lady again and making sure to take things slowly. Never focusing on what happened until she was ready to speak about it and being the shoulder to cry on when she desperately needed it.

As for the child it is her choice though some things to point out is that regardless of her decision it may be the silver lining in the horrible grey cloud. A child is a product of its environment much more than what brought him/her into existance. If she does decide to terminate the pregnancy that is also her choice. She should do what she feels is right. If she feels too vulnerable to talk to you though, she may need to get a counselor to help her sort this out.

Originally posted by: PobDol
Hey Dan and Jenn my name is Ben Becker and me and my girlfriend are longterm dating for now (like she lives in a different town for now) and she was raped about 1 week ago and she just found out she's pregnant what do I do? Do we keep the baby or get rid of it like she wants to get rid of it and then get a kid with me but i also want to keep the baby please answer me thanks alot

I have to say that this is her choice. Think about something, for all the love and care that she may feel for that baby someday in the future there's the chance that with every passing day of the pregnancy she may only feel more and more that the child is a reminder of what happened. There's the risk of further emotional damage being added to by hormone changes caused by the pregnancy as awell. This isn't something that is anyone's choce but her's.

Add your say on it if you feel that you must, but this is all about her, and don't forget that while the baby might promise future joy that there's alot of risk for pain if she keeps it. Let this be her choice. It's best if it's desided sooner rather then later, but let it happen at her pace, you can't pressure her one way or another. As much as we'd all like to say we can understand, no one really can say what she's thinking or feeling but her, and with that in mind this is her choice. It's her heart that will pay the price either way, so support her, in whatever she chooses.

First off, You should let her make up the decision on whether to keep the baby, abort, or give it up. She might not want a reminder of a horrid time in her life. No one likes to think of a babe being a thing of discust, but it happens. This is a huge life choice and will affect a large amount of people. She needs you to be supportive of her, but not pushy or needy. This is an issue that will take a very long time to settle.