What do I do with my sexual life?

in Love and Relationships » Cheating, Infidelity, and Affairs • 2 years ago

I live together with a fantastic girl, I have proposed and she has agreed. Now I feel happier than ever, but there is this major problem with my libido or what... You see I don't really know how to put this. Sorry for long intros...

You see I don't feel like I'm not normal, that I want sex at least 3 times a week. Instead the last time we had it was about 2 months back or more. I'm starting to think about having paid sex, but I don't know if I should tell it to her. I don't want to loose her, but I can't keep on having this huge problem. I'm supposed to feel bad about my wants and needs and If I don't then it's officially war for 2 weeks. The problem is, that I'm "too big" or she has the problem which you discussed in one video earlier. We have talked about it a lot and I don't want to do this conversation again. I'm always the bad guy and I'm an animal and I can't stop my hormones and so on... obviously she feels frightened and doesn't know what to do. We went to a doctor, but after we admitted, that we were the first ones for each other, he didn't believe us and afterwords he just gave us some pills for not getting pregnant, but not advice. Ok he told us about some problems and gave us medication for that, but it didn't helped us at all. She even tried to learn how to control her muscles in that area, but still no use. Finally we quit on the pills and now there is a big nothing... Her libido is rising again, but that just means, that she will be ok again for some new damage to her feelings and body. I may not find another girl like here in my life time. I don't want to do that to her any more. I love here please help me... Make a video, that can be as neutral and at the same time positive and helping in our case as it can and I'll make sure she watches it...

Replies(2)

Beagle

Re: What do I do with my sexual life?

2 years ago

I think you make a key point when you say you can't go on with this problem. If this is something you aren't prepared to live with the rest of your life then you dont' have any business getting married.

"Paid sex", even with protection, carries some risk of infection. You have absolutely no right to expose her to this risk without her knowledge and consent. Doing so would be cowardly and underhanded. If you're going to go that route, then be a man and tell her. She has a right to know what risk she's being exposed to.

Another thing that is apparent is that you need to fire your doctor. If he isn't willing to talk about your concerns, time to find someone who is. I don't care if he's been your family doctor for three generations. It's time to find someone who will listen to you.

The proper course of action, if he wasn't comfortable dealing with the issue, would be to refer you so someone who is trained in that area.

If the two of you marry with this issue unresolved, you'll never see your fifth anniversary. Sexual incompatibility is a major cause of divorce. The two of you are running right past the warning signs at warp speed. Time to slow down and reassess the situation. If this isn't something you can live with, you need to make darn sure the problem has been resolved before the two of you commit to a life together. I think the two of you need to get with a relationship counselor with training in sexual problems immediately.

noonespec..

Re: What do I do with my sexual life?

2 years ago

A good advice, but that doesn't solve the problem, because we don't have sex consultants and so on... Could you help with an advice for her, because you said, that this problem leads our relationship to nowhere, but I want to save it, so do you think I have to leave her or go to America to get professional help?