What do I tell my husband?

in Sex and Intimacy » Swingers and Threesomes • 3 years ago

My husband and I have been together for over 5 years. He is the only man I have ever been with. Here recently he has become very open to different sex ideas and he has gotten alot better in bed, (not saying he wasn't great before). He has brought up swinging several times and he tells me he wants to find another man for me to enjoy. He has expressed several of his fantasies and ideas and I wouldn't mind any of them, but I just don't know about strangers coming into my bedroom. I will admit, that we do have a female friend that for some reason everytime she is around things get alittle wild, Mainly just some touching and kissing between me and her, it has never went farther than that. Now he keeps bringing up the idea of a REAL 3some with all the works. I don't mind at all what he does with her, But the thought of them too having sex gives me mixed signals. I have fears that she could get pregnant, we would lose our friendship, he would enjoy her more than me or anything else like that. But I feel obligated because he doesn't mind me having another man. Any advice out there would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

Replies(6)

mommyof2a..

Re: What do I tell my husband?

3 years ago

All relationships are different but with my experience the fears I had going into a threesome became reality, because I didn't lay out the truth about how I felt. Before you do anything lay out the ground rules that make you comfortable and if your partner doesn't agree with the rules then I wouldn't go through with it. You do not owe him this, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do!

benatural

Re: What do I tell my husband?

3 years ago

mommyof2angels is right, you don't owe him the threesome.

She is also right in saying that ground rules should be laid out beforehand.

About the pregnancy, I say double up on the contraceptives, as well as pulling out before his orgasm, if that makes you feel better.

As for the jealousy, keenly observe where it is comming from. If it is not from any major red flags, Use the slight twinges of jealousy to fuel the fire of the momment and make it even hotter. Many guys can do this while watching their wife with another man. Sometimes it is a major thrill to flirt with the idea that she is enjoying sex more with the other guy, and then to appreciate that you were able to witness it, and it was not done behind your back. This may not even be the case, but it can fuel the fire.

misswitch

Re: What do I tell my husband?

3 years ago

Talk, talk, talk. If you dont talk about how you feel, he wont know. And the same goes for him. I 2nd and 3rd the set ground rules thing as well. That is a must. Also, talk to the third party, if they will be involved in the fun part, make sure they are a part of the "info gathering/discussion" part. This way everyone knows what ever rules are decided beforehand. And always remember, you dont have to do anything you dont want to do, dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

And what ever you decide to do, enjoy it. :p

slittylic..

Re: What do I tell my husband?

3 years ago

You gotta see a movie called "Sex Monster" by Mike Binder.

grahdenn

Re: What do I tell my husband?

1 year ago

i don't like 3some personally but its all about your personal life.but i think it'll be a new experience for you.u can take protection and use condoms i think

hurtinken..

Re: What do I tell my husband?

1 year ago

I have been in our shoes before and I got hurt, I would hate to see anyone go though the pain that I had... I think that if you are having doults about it, you shouldn't even consider it. If you are having trouble with your feelings now, you will be hurt in the end. What they are telling you about using your jealous feelings to fuel the heat of the moment could very well be what makes you fall apart. If it turns out that this is something that you really want to do have him to just watch you girls at first and see how you feel about that, take things real slow and know that you don't owe him nothing but your self.... And remember once it is done you can never go back...