what if it's a soul connection at first and then it turns cold?

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

I met a close guy friend's brother and we instantly hit it off. Actually, it's the third time we've met over several years-5. Anyway those meetings were very brief and vaguely remembered. I mention that because it's unusual to me based on my experiences. So he's not perfect, got into a bit of trouble with substance abuse and had to stay in my city with family for about 7mths today. In our "reintroduction" he immediately came to me to say hello before anyone at this bar-b-Q and pretty much flirted with me the entire time. He had no recollection of me in the past. In fact I had to tell him and he still doesn't remember. There was a moment when our eyes met unexpectedly and it was like he grabbed my soul and must've been mutual because he turned away and then made eye contact again to be sure. It shocked the hell out of me because I hadn't experienced that in a long time. I think it scared both of us but also made us curious to find out what it meant. So in a conversation I threw up a quick suggestion that he and his brother come to my place which I share with a roommate. So his brother declined but he insisted that he wanted to come. So anyway he kept coming around and I figured out he was trying to have sex with me and of corse I resisted and he persisted till it happened. After that we were together all the time like peas and carrots. But I dont know what to call that spiritual connection you feel when two people's eyes meet. Even the kisses were unbelievable soul touching we'd pull away in shock. Ok well that was in October of 08 and things changed back in Feb. He started pulling away from me sexually and pretty much was disinterested and we started being mean to each other as far as arguing. Well I would get agitated at his stupidity when he'd use drugs. I'm talking the old prescription addiction to Hydrocodone and doing coke. Suddenly little things he'd do would piss me off because I would be baby sitting. This is a guy who comes from a wealthy family, so handsom he use to model, has a college degree, dated the hottest girls you could get but drugs took over from what my friend, his brother, has said. Besides the negative, to be so deeply spiritually connected like that is rare and has to be real but why would it die? Does such a connection mean you were meant to be but there's maybe some things that need to happen first. I mean we keep coming back around to each other over a 5 year period. There has to be something to that more than just coincidence.

Replies(2)

Beagle

Re: what if it's a soul connection at first and then it turns cold?

2 years ago

Forestgreen: One of the saddest realities of the human condition is that we can be wonderfully attracted to someone who is totally toxic for us. A relationship with someone with a drug problem is a non-starter. He needs to get himself clean before he even thinks about entering a relationship. People who abuse drugs only drag themselves down and take whoever is handy with them.

One thing about drug use, with the possible exception of marijuana, is that it doesn't stay the same because it takes more to get the same high. Hydrocodone is in the opioid family and is very addictive.

When you talk to someone one drugs, you're not talking to him-You're talking to the drugs.

I am a counselor by trade, and you would not believe the percentage of my practice that is working with family members of people who are on drugs. A healthy relationship with someone who is abusing drugs just isn't possible.

(I don't use drugs. However, I'm not sure the above statement applies to recreational use of marijuana. Like any human behavior, marijuana use can be taken to an unhealthy extreme, but I haven't seen evidence that it is destructive at recreational-use levels.)

femaleorg..

Was it spiritual for him?

2 years ago

Spirituality (to me) is being deeply connected to other human beings, yet he couldn't even remember you. Besides, spiritual people are usually full of love, yet he's a drug addict, which implies he's full of fear and therefore not spiritual.