Ask Dan & Jennifer

If she didn't know about it, it's cheating even if you were just hanging out. What she was mad about was the fact that she had no idea what was happening. She sees you are with this other girl, and thinks your cheating. When if you were up front with her, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Talk to her.

Thanks for explaining it that way, it makes a bit more sense now. I can't talk to her though, it's been years since we've spoken, and we ended on rocky terms anyways. I'm going to keep this in mind for future relationships.

Originally posted by: Wookie
If she didn't know about it, it's cheating even if you were just hanging out. What she was mad about was the fact that she had no idea what was happening. She sees you are with this other girl, and thinks your cheating. When if you were up front with her, it wouldn't have been a big deal. Talk to her.

I Agree

Originally posted by: harobike123
Thanks for explaining it that way, it makes a bit more sense now. I can't talk to her though, it's been years since we've spoken, and we ended on rocky terms anyways. I'm going to keep this in mind for future relationships.

Don't think its over yet, there's always a way to fix this

I don't think harobike123 want to get back with her... he just wants advice for the future.

You don't have to tell her what your doing all the time, you can go on walks with other girls its not cheating.

When would it be cheating?

If you started to feel emotions for the other girls, then you need to seriously think about not seeing them again.

"Cheating" is a condition which exists in which all stakeholders in a matter are not fully aware of what is going to happen. It occurs in any transaction in which there is deception. Deception is the ultimate destroyer of relationships. Cheating is any violation of an agreement between two people.

It is cheating if I withhold information that would influence another person's decision. If I sell you a car with the promise that it is sound and I have the knowledge that it has a defect, then that is cheating. If I tell you the purchase is "as is", then you know it is your responsibility is to check out car before the purchase. You have then made a rational decision based on honestly.

This situation is best evaluated in light of the golden rule. How would I want the other person to treat me if our situations were reversed.

In regards to sex, which is the context you obviously meant, cheating can only exist in the light of promises that I have made. If I ask someone to have sex with me and they consent, that is their choice. It is not cheating unless I tell someone that they are the only person I will have sex with. Then, I have deceived the person. Any condition in which both people are not fully aware of the "rules" is cheating. For example, if I say "go steady" then it is cheating for me to kiss someone else. If I say "I won't have vaginal intercourse with someone" then it's not cheating to have oral sex. It depends on the nature of the understanding between you and the other person.

It is also important to note that promises can be implied. If I sell you a knife sharpener, it is implied that it will sharpen a knife. I can't say to someone, "Well you didn't say I couldn't have oral sex." If they have formed a misconception of my commitment, then it is my responsibility as a decent person to correct that misunderstanding. The same way you would want me to clarify the difference between a limited warranty and full warranty if you were buying a car from me.

Beagle sorta makes sense, only I'd say anything sexual and kissing is cheating, some people would even consider cuddling cheating.. You really have to know what your partner thinks of it.
Inless you actully talk to your partner about having an open realationship and they're completly okay with it.. then things like sex, and kissing isn't okay.
You and your partner may decide that you can have sex with someone but never see them again for example. I'm totaly against open relationships though, mostly I have committed relationships.

I hope that helped a little..
And of corse you can hang out with other girls, as long as you let your partnet know that you're just gonna go hang out with your friend, she may get worried that you'll get drunk and accidently do something as well.. so try to re-sure her.

Cheating is not something that can be considered as a black and white issue. One person may consider a certain action to be cheating while another doesn't. So there isn't a right or wrong answer when it comes to that word. This is where you, as an individual, just have to use some common sense to figure out what you would and wouldn't label as cheating. Beagle's explanation definitely gives a very good idea of what to do and what not to do in a relationship. In the end, it all just comes down to communication.

What is cheating?
Highly subjective. I tend to be a little puritannical; I view fantasizing as cheating but, strangely, only when I do it. Whenever my partner, whoever he/she ends up being, I'll be fine with almost everything they do (except directly sleeping with someone else, in which case I'll be a bit angry). However, when I do something tiny, look at porn, fantasize, I hate myself.