Ask Dan & Jennifer

It is sad when you love someone and just cannot understand what is wrong..I think that your wife loves you however she may have lots of resentment and pentup feelings...Hence the HOT then COLD mood swings...See I know this because this is what I am going thru also. I love my soon to be ex-husband. I have way too much resentment and cannot let go of the bad/negative feelings...So I too go hot then cold. I kick him out...I tell him I love him...he comes back home...we make love then everything is okay for a little while.. Then he may do or say something that makes me feel bad or upset...then I remember other awful things he has said and done. Then I hate the up and down roller coaster ride...I want to be happy and I want him to be happy. Sometimes outside friends and family fuel the fire and accenuate the negative...Sometimes they think they have the other person's best interest at heart. Maybe they have seen them sad and broken down crying, and they think that other person is not GOOD FOR THEM...In the final analysis, you have to consider what is best for you first...then your spouse and children. You know that you cannot put your wife and children out of the house so you sacrafice your living conditions so that they may have a home. Very commendable and smart of you..this type of behavior will help her to see the positives about you. You are providing for your family.. BE STRONG and do the right thing...as it sounds like you have. Maybe one day she will stop listening to other people..she will have to have time to herself ..she may be too busy to see it now...or she may not ever see it..that she must decide what is best for her and her children...In the best case scenario this would include you, her husband.
I know it is hard..trust me it is hard on her too. Check out my videos where I just have to get some things out of my head..At first he gave me a video. I posted on youtube and responded to it...now there are just the videos of me. AlexandriaCD
My friend told me that he "spoke his case better" that he seemed really hurt and I come off like a cold bitch..some friend huh? Well I wanted her honest opinion. I felt like a cold bitch...I wanted to be calm about it....even when I was raging inside..I hope you get what your heart desires, if not with your wife and children, then with someone who will appreciate you and make you feel GOOD...that is also what I wish for myself.

Lostsoul,

My fiancee is really like your wife,

She would agree with anything anybody says, she can't argue for herself, she just gets beaten to a pulp in arguments.

Now her mother hates me, & my fiancee would listen to anything she says bad about me, what I used to do is ask my fiancee what did she say & then timidly and meekly my fiancee would give me the half truth as not wanting to offend me.

So I'd guess at what it was that was actually said, & then I'd explain my side of it & get her to agree with me (yes my fiancee will argue with me because I'm the only person she isn't shy with).

In this way I'd nip all these things people had said in the bud, she thinks everyone else is wrong now.

What you really needed to do is ask her what she thinks and make her agree with you. Now of course you can't.

I'd love it if my fiancee could make up her own opinion, but she can't, so why shouldn't I fight against all the bad apples? I have more at stake than them! So do you too.

If the problem is she isn't listening to YOU, then you need to try something different, don't tell her anything and agree with everything she says.

Either-way get her to move back in and take it from there.