Ask Dan & Jennifer

We prefer not to go into our personal sex lives and choices as examples for the column or the Forums, in part because that will bias the discussion. We encourage people to follow their hearts and make their own informed choices which are right for them.

But we've abstracted the question to it's more useful form...

"would a white couple swing with a black couple?"

And the answer is I don't see why not.

But honestly I think focusing on only one factor like that really misses the mark.

First, many many "swingers" don't actually have sex with other people than their own spouse.

When couples do have friendships, spend time with, or even have sex with other singles and couples, that's just as complex a human relationship as singles dating. People are attracted to one another for an incredible number of reasons, and saying "would you date someone that's white or black" is about as helpful as asking "would you date a guy who's 6ft 3in tall" or "would you date a girl that wears glasses".

Fact is, people are attracted to one another for any combination of hundreds / thousands of factors, not one thing.

All having been said, if someone has a serious hang-up with one particular trait, they probably wont' be open to dating someone with that one single trait.

Someone else chime in - what do you guys think about interracial swinging? Does it seriously matter to you or to anyone you know?

As a personal response to that question! Yes, in a heartbeat! Assumming we find them attractive and everyone is getting along!

Mr. "G" finds black women extremely sexy and Mrs. "G" is equally attracted to black men as white men.

To us it is all based on attraction as individuals and as a couple!

Originally posted by: Dan And Jennifer
Fact is, people are attracted to one another for any combination of hundreds / thousands of factors, not one thing.

All having been said, if someone has a serious hang-up with one particular trait, they probably wont' be open to dating someone with that one single trait.

Someone else chime in - what do you guys think about interracial swinging? Does it seriously matter to you or to anyone you know?

The decision to swing interracially comes down to personal preference. As unfair as it might seem, it's pretty common in the lifestyle for one particular trait to be a deal-breaker. Some couples might not play with certain races, while others won't play with those who are a certain age, weight or political persuation. We have even come across a couple that wouldn't play with NASCAR fans, and another that wouldn't play with Wal-Mart shoppers! While some personal preferences might seem odd, they must be respected.

No one I know (save for perhaps one person) would use race as a sole disqualifier for someone they engage in sex with (or even a full blown relationship, for that matter), whether it was in a swinging situation or a hook up. Myself included.

That is *so* Gen X. :p

I've never had a shortage of couples who wanted an interracial 3-some or more-somes.
In my experiences, it's about the experience and how much fun both parties are wanting to have. If you have a great reputation of taking care of 'business', you'll always have fun. :D

-- post removed, member banned after multiple warnings on race baiting and attacking statements. -- Admin.

Originally posted by: The Nibblers
.... Yes, in a heartbeat! Assumming we find them attractive and everyone is getting along! ...!

That is the was we feel.

Hugs and Hissessss,
Maria

Sorry to be so slow on here.. let's just say life has been hectic, but I'm back now :)

As far as swinging interracially, I'd say most of the couples I've met have no problem with that. In fact, I know a lot of people who find it a kinky thrill to do the interracial thing. Fact is, swingers are people, some have racial bias and some don't. I do think more of the swinger folk are more open minded than our "vanilla" peers, and don't see some things as an issue. If you've been invited to a party, or to someone's place for a "date" I'd say there is at least one couple who wants to play.
But you will have to face the fact as well, that as Greg and Sheryl said, some people are exclusive of their partners for one reason or another. We know a couple who the guy loves to play with me, but his wife will not play with my man. She hasn't said why, just no. And we have respected that and just don't push. (Good thin we only see them at house parties) So, yes, you may be excluded by some couples, but don't worry... someone will love to play.

Here are our thoughts...

OH MY GODDD !!! That would be beautiful !!! HEAVEN ON THIS EARTH !
Curious ? What would the difference be if the swing was in the same room or in separate rooms. I wonder how the swing would thrive in either of those situations ?

There are very many stories and fantasies of white women enjoying sex with a well endowed black man. These stories fantasies are had by white men and white women.

I am new here, but thanks for slamming the door on racism. "Last generation's leftover baggage" I like that. If more people would leave the old generation's baggage in the past we would all be happier people. As far as me and swinging it doesn't matter.

It's a matter of sexual preference IMHO. If you find one another attractive, why not?

Where race is concerned I enjoy a couple that are both black vs a racial mix. mainly because it's more exciting / exotic for both of us not just one.
We have been with a black coupple and it was a great encounter.

We have also been with a mixed couple (black male, white female) and I was like "yay?" lol, nothing special for me. That's just me though. Sounds a bit insensitive but we swing for pleasure and erotic fun but If we meet a couple that we hit it off with, I'm all in regardless of race or anything else.

Honestly that's the hardest part about swinging IMHO for myself, finding people you have a chemistry with or sexual charge that you like and enjoy being with.:D

I guess when you get right down to it, if you like them and have a good time and there is a sexual energy with them, go for it.

That's what swinging is all about I guess.;)

I am a white man, my wife is a white woman. My wife had a black man before we met. I had more than one black woman before I met my wife. We have told each other about these encounters and we are okay with them.

I would not object to swapping with a couple of another race based solely on the color of their skin. Their attractiveness or their attitude could make it a no-go, but the color of their skin wouldn't.