Young bisexuals and setteling down, the choice of your life

in Love and Relationships » Relationship Advice • 2 years ago

Hey All,
I'm Rens. I'm a 22 year old, 100% bisexual.

I've been in a relationship for over 4 years with an slightly older man, he's 28 now.
I've always missed girls in my sexlife, but men as well.
My boyfriend isn't at all sexually active and we had sex like 8 times on those 4 years.

Now he's at that time in his life where he wants to move in together.
But I don't know what to do: spending the rest of my life faithfull to a man who doesn't "need" sex, not being able to have sex again with neither a woman nor a man for the rest of my life.
+ I'm "only" 22, I don't know if I'm ready to make shuch a huge commitement.

I know this can't last forever like this, but every time we talk about it, he changes for one night, and then it's back to the no-sex routine.

I really don't know what I should do, I love him with all my heart and everything else is so perfect, but I don't want to dissapoint him.

Could anyone give me some advice?
Thanks a lot!
Rens

Replies(1)

Beagle

Re: Young bisexuals and setteling down, the choice of your life

2 years ago

Rens: This one is easy. This relationship definitely isn't ready to proceed until you address these issues. Sexual compatibility is a very big issue in relationships. Most women find that their sex drive actually increases with the aging process, while a man's decreases. If you're not satisfied with the level of sexuality now, then you certainly won't be in the future.

It is very important for couples to be matched on their level of sexual appetite. If one wants sex much more often, then they feel frustrated and the other partner feels put upon. Differences in sexual appetite are common causes of affairs and divorces.

Proceeding to marriage, children, and joint ownership of property is something that should definitely wait until you have worked through this issue. Working through it could mean that you and he find mutually acceptable ways for you to meet these needs, that he gets treatment for his low sexual desire, or that you decide that you can live with the low level of sexual activity in the relationship. If you go with the last option, just know that if you both follow the typical aging curve, that your differences in sexual appetite will probably become more pronounced. If you and he proceed to marriage now, I'm afraid you and he will just become another statistic.